The 23 Different Types of Sports Fans
At any sporting event, you’re bound to run into an array of personalities. The following are ones you are likely to meet before your time as a sports fan is over.
1.) The Bandwagoner: They never actually declare a favorite team, because they are a fair weather fan. Right now, catch them cheering on the Cubs and the Cavaliers. But don’t you worry, by the time baseball season is over, they will have cheered for four other squads before finally settling on whoever ends up winning the World Series in November.
2.) The Question Queen: “What’s a first down, and why is that good?” “How many strikes do you get?” “Why do they call it a free throw?” This type of girl understands absolutely nothing about sports, and she is apparently dead set on finding out what they’re all about by asking the dumbest questions possible.
3.) The Spawn of Satan: “Daaaaaad, I have to go potty again!” “Daaaad! He took my chips!” “Dad, where’s Zimmy?” “OMG, look, the drone. Where’s the drone? I wonder if the drone can see me!” When I went to Minnesota Vikings training camp last summer, the kid standing next to me said all of these things. The kid in this stereotype will not shut up, and their parents seem to just be ignoring them, to your dismay.
4.) The Painter: No matter whether it is 30 below or 100 degrees, these super fans are always supporting their favorite team by sporting their team spirit with paint on their chests.
5.) The Expert: They probably should be the coach, because they seem to know more than them anyways.
6.) The Number Cruncher: Have you ever seen a guy at a game hopping from girl to girl, trying to get their number? That is a tell-tale sign that he is really only looking for some post-game action.
7.) The Mrs.: The girls that only watch the games to gush about how hot Jordy Nelson is or how good Kris Bryant’s butt looks in his baseball pants.
8.) “I Only Came For The Beer”: He’s really only looking for an excuse to drink, and a sporting event seems to be the perfect venue for him to get so sauced that he can’t even walk!
9.) The “Remember When” Guy: “I remember when I played baseball…” even though it was about 50 years prior, in high school.
10.) The Sugar High: Cotton candy, snow-cones, candy, and soda are only the beginning of this. In extreme cases, the child may even put a cotton candy bag over their face, without their parents even noticing.
11.) The Oblivious: They want their team to play better defense, except they’re actually on offense, or they think that touchdowns are a part of baseball.
12.) The Mom: Taking care of drunks and young children are their specialties. Newer models tend to have perfected the skill of providing care while still managing to document stupidity with pictures and videos. Or not providing care and just taking videos, take your pick.
13.) The Screamer: No matter whether they’re saying “break his leg,” “come on ref,” or yelling curse words, these are the people you wish would shut up or pass out.
14.) The Cheerleader: The optimistic one, always cheering on their team through the fair weather and the hard times.
15.) The Rebel: A single away team fan surrounded by a sea of homers, just for the fun of it.
16.) The Fighter: They want to throw down with anyone who approaches them and says one wrong word.
17.) The Blamer: Everything is always the ref’s fault because they’re blind. Halloween costume of choice is a “Blind Ref.”
18.) The Talker: Is it that hard to sit and watch a game without flapping your yap for at least two minutes?
19.) The Eater: First a burger, then a pretzel, then nachos, then candy. It seems as if they are a bottomless pit because they are always coming back to the stands with another food item. On the bright side, though, the concession stand loves them.
20.) The Small Bladder: Every inning is the seventh inning for this fan, because every ten minutes, they are getting up to use the facilities.
21.) The Cliché Guy: “It’s a long season,” is his favorite saying.
22.) The Overdressed: I know wearing heels and a dress would make me feel out of place at a ball game.
23.) “That Guy”: Shows up to a Packer-Viking game in a Bears jersey, just to annoy people like me.