When it comes to family get-togethers, Italians are pretty much the experts. You will never find a group louder, more loving, or larger-than-life than an Italian family, which is a part of what makes their parties so incredible. Because the truth is, there is much more to the Italian culture than just mind-blowingly delicious food (even though that is a very important part). Here are just 20 of the millions of reasons why Italians do family, love, and celebration the best:
1. You only need to know two names: Maria and Joe.
The general rule of thumb in the Italian culture is that every family typically has multiple members with these two names. In fact, it'd be quite rare not to find a Joe or Maria in an Italian family. So don't sweat it if you find yourself blanking on the name of that great uncle from Sicily that's sitting at the table across from you. Odds are, it's Joe.
2. You see a few guests that make you question whether you're at a wedding or in a "Soprano's" rerun.
Let's face it: For us Italians, there's always that one relative that you were always pretty sure came straight from taping this show to the party. The full head of hair, toughness, and I-know-a-guy attitude makes it hard to miss this relative, who is probably sipping wine and at the head of the table. Hey, family can get interesting.
3. At least one of these bad boys makes an appearance.
To the untrained eye, this tiny red piece of plastic could be passed off as your everyday, run-of-the-mill chili pepper. However, this cornicello is the Italian equivalent of an "evil eye" bracelet and Italians live and die by its legend.
4. The volume in the room is just about loud enough where you cannot hear yourself think.
Between your uncles discussing the latest soccer match and your cousins arguing over who gets the last cannoli, things can get pretty loud. Often times, one could get a headache from such noise. Little is known as to why Italians yell when they talk. Are they angry? Are they half-deaf? No, the answer is that we just have a lot of really important things to say and we demand your attention at all times. That is all.
5. The amount of caffeine being consumed in the room could make an elephant jittery.
Espresso is just about as important as oxygen for us. So Italian parties are always flooded with the strongest, perkiest blend of coffee on the market. Drink up.
6. The food is so wonderful, you swear that it's healing you and you can hear angels sing.
All carbs, everything. Enough said on this one.
7. That feeling you get when relatives compliment you.
Whether it's by your aunts, family from Italy, or Nonna herself, nothing brightens your day like a compliment about how bella you are or what actress back in Italy you remind someone of.
8. Hearing that smooth, enticing language of the motherland.
Nothing is more glorious than hearing the wonderful language of your ancestors. So whether or not you can parlare or capire, just getting to listen to the incredible language of the Italians is a treat. Bonus: dialects from the different regions of Italy is equally as satisfying to listen to. Che magnifico!
9. You're practically ducking under the table from fear of becoming a casualty of the hand gestures being made during dinner table conversation.
Italians use their hands for just about every phrase, emotion, exclamation, or argument. Either join in or beware and take cover.
10. And you can say just about anything you want because no one can hear you over everyone else's voice at the table anyway.
You could literally stand up and announce that you are moving to Antarctica and your Italian relatives would not recognize what you've said because of the other 5,000 conversations taking place around you. What can I say, we're Italians.
11. You get to run into those relatives that you see once a week (usually on Sundays).
Sure, you see cousin Giovanna every week at Nonna's house. But you're an Italian family, so you've got quite a lot to say on a constant basis. There isn't enough time in the day to talk about everything you two need to discuss.
12. And those who you've never met but swear you've gotten SO TALL since the last time you've seen them.
In addition to the list of stereotypical relatives, Italian family parties are an opportunity for those distant, older relatives who you genuinely do not remember ever meeting. However, they get so ridiculously excited to see you again and cannot get over how tall and grown you've become.
13. These cookies make a special appearance.
And you know you fought one or more of your cousins for the lone rainbow-sprinkled star cookie because it is clearly the best of the variety.
14. Wine is poured for you, regardless of your age.
It's your high school graduation? Here's some wine. It's your first Holy communion? Well, have some wine!
15. This beautiful baked good is put out for dessert.
Any Italian knows that Panettone is an appropriate dessert for just about every occasion: Christmas, Easter, when company comes over for coffee, or maybe just whole one for yourself if you're feeling particularly hungry/emotional.
16. Bocce ball is the game of choice.
For those who are new to Bocce, just imagine a group of extremely angry old men yelling incessantly at eight metal balls. It is literally giant marbles and it is very important.
17. Ice cream cakes and cupcakes are traded in for tiramisu and cannolis.
At Italian parties, there is no "Fudgey the Whale." Instead, we trade this in for tiny, delicious pastries that are often way too pretty eat and cakes drenched in coffee. Not a bad trade-off.
18. Nothing is off the table for discussion during after-dinner espresso.
Because your mom's best friend's cousin told her mom who told your aunt who told Nonna what you were up to on Friday night. Close-knit Italian families find out just about everything, some way or another. So anything goes when it comes to table conversation after dinner.
19. But the best part of an Italian shindig is the love that you see between the family.
La famiglia.
20. Did I mention the the food?
