When was the last time you called in "sick" for work? No, I don't mean the last time you were sick and had to miss work. I mean the last time you woke up and said, "You know what, I'm not feeling it," and put your head right back on the pillow.
Odds are, most people don't have the guts to just not show up for a shift, so you probably came up with some story of why you can't work that day. You can go with the doctors appointment, or "my car broke down," but those just get your boss aggravated and annoyed at you. You need to be original. Tell them something they've never heard before. They say, "the younger you are, the more creative you are," so I've heard many ridiculous excuses. Here's 10 that might just get you that day off.
1. "I have a party to go to."
I'm a college student, so I agree that sometimes the closing shift interferes with my late night party life. Your boss isn't stupid, they probably know on Fridays and Saturdays, you don't want to work. But to actually have the guts to say, "I have a party" might get you to the party for the pre-game.
2. "My dog is having surgery and I need to be there to hold his paw."
According to the ASPCA, 78 million people own a dog in the United States. Maybe on that particular 85 degree summer day where the only visible cloud in the sky is the one on your phone, your dog just happens to go in for surgery and you need to be there for them to hold their paw. Ridiculous? Yes, but very possible.
3. "I've fallen and I can't get up."
Who can forget that incredibly poor quality, but somehow iconic, Life Alert commercial? Senior citizens on the ground, yelling, "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" Terrible I know, making fun of something that has actually saved many lives before, but as a teenager, it's quite comical.
4. "The Mets have won three in a row and it's all because I haven't been to work, so I'm not showing up until they lose."
The life of a die-hard sports fan. They'll believe anything they say and will do anything to help them win. If it means turning your three-day weekend into three months of unemployment, then so be it!
5. "I need to hangout with my significant other."
This one is more for the guys. We've all been there. You want to work because you want money, but your girlfriend wants to hangout and is giving you the "You never hangout with me anymore." You say you can't take off, but before you know it, you're calling your boss because you're the "whipped" one in the relationship, It's okay guys, everyone knows you're whipped.
6. "All the farm animals broke out of the zoo and one broke my fence so I have to repair it."
Doesn't this just paint a picture in your head? A bunch of animals charging down a residential street and, out of nowhere, a zebra bolts through your fence and creates a gaping whole in the middle. Clearly not true, but I guarantee you, no manager has ever gotten that phone call.
7. "It was raining."
If you work outdoors, this is a legitimate excuse. If you wake up, look outside and see torrential downpour hitting against your window, you're hitting snooze. Who wants to work outside in the rain? You're cold, wet, and your skin becomes all wrinkled. It's not a good time.
8. "I got stuck in Barbados and I can't fly back."
You can't fly back? Or you already did, and the middle of your living room just became one the most beautiful vacation spots on the planet? Either way, you're in Barbados and not at work listening to Helen complain about the bunions on her feet. On second thought yes, you couldn't fly back.
9. "The way my bank account is set up, I got my checking in my savings and it's going to take three business days..."
If you haven't heard him by now you're crazy. Kevin Hart is the funniest man alive! His stand-up comedy sketch is the number one comedy show in the world, and this iconic line can be used in any scenario. Just start rambling on and your boss will be so confused, they'll just say, "see you tomorrow."
10. "My aunt just bought a house."
My favorite excuse of all-time! This one is a true story. A bunch of co-workers and I were by the "hours calendar" setting our hours for the week. Our boss is asking who can work on this day and who can work on that day. So he turns to the guy named Matt and says, "Matt, I don't see you signed up for any days, how come?" Matt turns to him, straight-faced, and replies, "My aunt just bought a house," and pauses, looks up and continues, "Let me explain." This response prompted another co-worker to say, "And my grandma got groceries, so I can't work either." So what ever happened to Matt? He showed up to work the next day.
