Because I know you were so worried I would forget. I want to begin my ode to the boys in third grade, who so thoughtfully reminded me that I could not play flag football because of what I was hiding, so shamefully, in my pants. Without you all I would have never known that I am in fact worth less than I previously thought. How could I have lived my life so delusional, that I may one day be equal to my male counterparts? Silly me. That's why I had to wear a jumper that was made of glass for eight years, while the boys wore whatever they wanted. I also want to thank the boys who in fifth grade (the height of my short hair, round glasses, and even rounder face) made it clear to me that I looked like a boy. "But I am a girl!" I proclaimed. Without that proclamation, I may have gone about my day, stuffed into gaucho pants and a bedazzled shirt that reads "Miss Bossypants" truly thinking I was a boy. So, thanks for that.

I have been so fortunate in my time to be reminded by complete strangers about my God given biological sex. Thank you to the men who yell, "Nice ass!", because without you I would never feel comfortable to wear my 18th-century couture on the streets of New York City. I especially appreciate it when one of the fine gentlemen out there have been staring at me the whole ride home, so I know that if I go missing your eyes will be the last ones looking at me when my soul leaves my body, and you can tell my mom where I am! Special thanks to the guy I was riding next to on the subway who so chivalrously pointed out he could see my underwear (the lining of my Nike shorts) through my pants. What a hearty guffaw it would have been if you just let me go about my evening thinking that my undergarments were only for me to see. Oh, or when, God forbid, my bra strap shows! I can't believe I have been so foolish to think that everyone is aware that women have breasts when it was certainly a surprise to the men at the supermarket.

You all have so graciously reminded me that all of these goofy little incidents are because I am just a simpleton looking for her Mrs. degree. When I turn on the TV, and the Bachelor isn't on, and I see Hillary Clinton on the screen, I just hope that someone is out there reminding her that she is a woman too. I think that Donald Trump is doing a pretty good job of that, though. Do you think that Mrs. Clinton sometimes forgets that she's a woman because she has an accomplished career and can sustain her life on her own? I bet she does, especially since she's in a man's job. I bet that President Clinton will never forget that he's a man, though because guys always seem to remember their place in society.