Oh, where to begin with you? There is so much I could say and so much that I will never say. We parted ways so long ago, but the memories are still fresh if I only allow them to resurface in my mind. When it was over, I was hurt just as anyone else would be. But now, looking back I can see that you gave me so very much. So here is a thank you from me to you.
Thank you for telling me I was beautiful. I know I was an awkward teenager. I mean, jeez, I'm still an awkward adult. But the first time you told me I was beautiful, I felt it. I no longer worried about my disproportionate features or my crooked teeth. I simply blushed.
Thank you for giving me my first real kiss. I mean, of course there had been a kiss or two before you, but you were the first one that really mattered. Yours is the one I count as my first. Out on our backs, gazing at the stars, just like something out of a fairy tale.
Thank you for those long phone calls. There was nothing better than when we would stay on the phone for two, three, even four hours at a time, talking about life and each other. Even now when we occasionally call its a lengthy conversation. We've just always been good about finding stuff to say.
Thank you for making me smile. No explanation needed. Just thank you.
Thank you for letting me fight with you. When I was finally ready to be mad, you let me yell. You let me throw your clothes at you across the parking lot and slam your truck door. You let me tell you I hate you and scream and cry. And all you did was say your piece, accept it, and leave. That was the closure I needed.
Thank you for teaching me that love can be one-sided. I believe that there was a time when the two of us were genuinely in love with each other. We were both invested in one another and didn't want "us" to ever stop. But, that time passed and I was still stuck there, loving you. This was my first hard lesson in love.
Thank you for leaving me alone. When I cut you off for months at at time to get my emotions settled you accepted it. And when I came back to apologize and offer reconciled friendship, you accepted that too. No questions asked.
Thank you for apologizing. Sure, it was months later and I should never have held my feelings in for so long, but I did. And you said sorry. And I needed that.
Thank you for moving on. I know that this wasn't done specifically for me but it was so beneficial. At first it hurt. My chest tightened, even a year later, as I saw you were talking to someone new. But then I accepted it. And it helped me to accept that all good things must come to an end.
Thank you for loving me. For you it has ended, but for me it will probably never truly stop. There will always be a little part of my heart that remembers you and speeds up when our paths cross, even if it understands that our chapter is over.
Thank you, first love. Thank you for being my Superman.
Whitney
