Being bullied throughout my life has made me into a stronger individual. I am now more thankful of the good friends I have in my life right now. But, it was not so easy to see the positivity of being put down when it was happening.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle - Plato
Most recently, at my boarding school in the middle of April 2015 I was harassed through an application called Yik Yak. People would write posts or comments involving me. The “best” part of the application for the poster is that everything is anonymous. Although, each post can actually be tracked. I had travelled to Mexico and came back to Toronto only to come down with a severe case of pneumonia that made me go back to Boston for a month to get better. When I arrived back, I was sitting in the dining hall eating my first meal with a few friends when I updated the Yik Yak feed and saw, “crazy b**ch is back.” The post gained many comments like, “oh from where?Boston.” Then, my name started to appear on multiple posts with hurtful comments that went too far. I became a trending topic on Yik Yak in St. Catharines, Ontario. I know this because a Yik Yak poster asked, “who is this Laurissa girl? and why is she getting so much hate on here?” I tried to hide it from my parents but, I found myself crying in my room and needing support. I am so thankful to both of my house masters during this time. They provided continuous support, love, and always checked in on me.
The worst part of bullying like this is the constant fear of your thoughts wandering asking yourself – who is writing this? At my boarding school, the community was tight knit and more often then not you knew most of the people. I found myself scared, anxious, and nervous walking through campus and the dining hall knowing that anyone of these individuals could have been the one who wrote those posts. To be honest, this harassment came at the worst time possible. I was trying to study for my International Baccalaureate exams and recovering from my pneumonia. I had already missed one month of school and I just wanted to get on the next plane and go home again to my family.
I know that many people think it is easy to push negative comments aside but it truly is not. It takes a lot of effort and support to know that you are a wonderful person despite what these people are saying. I have had anxiety my entire life and it got worse as I got older. Sadly, during the last two months of high school I was at my peak level of anxiety. For me personally, it caused my hands to tremble, I would avoid eating during times there were a lot of people, and I tried to get as much alone time as possible. Many people would best describe me as a happy, cheerful, kind young girl who was always smiling. The problem is that you cannot see how someone feels on the inside. I became good at hiding my thoughts. I tried to think about how I couldn’t wait to move to university and make new friendships. I would be free of the pain I was in.
I just want to say thank you to anyone who ever put me down on Yik Yak because I am stronger than ever. I have an amazing group of friends who I care dearly for. I have a more positive image of myself and I am a much nicer individual. I am hesitant to say negative comments in any case because I know how it feels to receive them. If you have ever been bullied or currently are being harassed, I promise you it will not last forever! Do not feel sorry for yourself, instead feel sorry for all of those people who are harassing you. Thank you so much for making my last month of high school horrible because I am now very appreciative of everything I am given and the friends I have today.
