I started off my freshman year of college weighing 120. Right now, I’m closer to 130. Is it a big deal? No- not if society hasn’t conditioned you to regard weight gain as an instant degradation of your value as a woman.

“But you still look great!” "At least you still fit into your prom dress!"

You’re right, I think I do. But I know that if I was someone in the spotlight, a little better known, a little more scrutinized than I am I’d be held up next to my old body as if in gaining weight I lost the right to dignity.

This is what I’d see if I didn’t have the luxury of living in my own little world. Because society doesn’t just incite competition between women, it incites competition against ourselves. It's the same dress, and it fits me- I shouldn't have to fit it.

Yes, I have been known to have 3 servings of birthday cake flavored ice cream in the school cafeteria. Just last night I ate 5 Krispy Kreme donuts. But guess what- all of it tasted pretty dang great. And I’m not going to allow myself to berate myself about what I’m eating if I feel good, I won’t give the world the pleasure of robbing me of my joy. I learned that lesson.

I’m so glad I’ve gained weight since coming to college. Now I know that I was just fine before the pounds started packing on. I didn’t need to skip 2 meals a day as a sophomore in high school (sorry Mom, I didn’t actually eat breakfast). I didn’t need to put myself on a crazy paleo diet to stay thin as a junior in high school (sorry again Mom, you were right on that one). I didn’t need to punish my body when I ate something with too many carbs as a senior in high school or eat only bare minimum the weeks leading up to prom. I didn’t need to.

This isn’t to say don’t take care of your body, you really need to, it’s the only body you get. This is to say that you need to love it as much as you can. Don’t you dare disagree with your friends when they tell you that you look good. But don’t you dare let yourself question your worth when someone questions what you’ve got on your plate at holiday parties either. Same for you, boys- don’t give into the hype over being “cut” or having a six pack, if you feel good, you look good.

With that jumbled tirade complete, I’m going to leave y’all with some encouragement.

"Tell them never to listen when bodies are critiqued." -Nikita Gill

"I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me." -Maya Angelou

“i want to apologize to all the women i have called beautiful before I've called them brave." -Rupi Kaur

"i hope you find love in another, but i hope you find it within yourself first" - day randhawa

Love Myself - Hailee Steinfeld

Sit Still, Look Pretty -Daya

Priceless -for KING & COUNTRY

Last but not least-

Pretty Girl Rock -Keri Hilson