Tonight was a rarity for me. It was a moment that doesn’t happen often, a moment most would not treasure. My son cried. Hard. He cried, tried to regain his composure, then cried more. The reason? You.
Four years ago my son walked into the doors of high school as a not only a freshman, but a freshman with Asperger’s Syndrome. He wanted to feel part of a group or team, so he went to you and asked if he could be the football manager. I remember the day clearly. He came home full of excitement and announced that he was going to be managing the high school football team. My first reaction was not excitement, but fear. I knew high school was going to be a challenge for him. I knew his classes would be difficult and that he needed to devote every ounce of time to being a good student. I told him I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. He came back with “Well, I’ve already talked to Coach and he said I could, so now I have to.”
I can’t say everyday practices were good for our son’s schoolwork. I can’t say the long practices and far away games were good for his sleep patterns. I can say however, that I will forever be grateful for the lessons he has learned from you and the relationships you allowed him to build.
You have made my son feel important. You gave him jobs to do, expected him to do them, and were not afraid to hold him accountable. More than once he came home and told me he “did something wrong at practice and got in trouble.” As parents, we were thrilled. He was finally learning the life skill of responsibility. When his grades slipped, you let him know he needed to focus on his schoolwork. Through football, he learned the importance of time and knew to arrive early for games and practices.
I knew how much my son respected you, but last school year it became much clearer to me. His math teacher was on leave and he needed extra help, so he went to you. I tried to talk him out of approaching you because I knew your schedule was already on overload. He insisted. Honestly, I’m not sure how much he needed the math help or just wanted the extra time with you. Regardless, you didn’t hesitate and put in the extra hours with him.
His last football game was yesterday and ended with a loss-a heartbreaking loss. When we finally sat and talked about the game, the tears flew freely from both of us. Most of my son’s teammates have played football together since the 5th grade. I told him how much I was going to miss seeing them on the field next year. Through tears he told me “I am going to miss football so much next year, but mostly was going to miss Coach. You don’t know how much I love being around him.”
So to you, coach, thank you. Thank you for treating my son as part of the team and making him feel welcome. Thank you for teaching him the many life lessons you did the last four years. Thank you for having a sense of humor and harassing him about his love of OSU. Thank you for being important to my son. Most of all, thank you for bringing out feelings I didn’t know he had. Thank you for making my son cry.
