I completely believe that we met people for a reason. Either they are a blessing or a lesson.

I remember when we first met. I was at a party, and I thought you were so lame. I saw you 'getting lit' with your friends in the corner. Little did I know you would later catch my attention in a big way. At the party, I was preoccupied with a football player that was insisting to take me home that night. But, I quickly declined. I was on a new kick. NO BOYS, I NEED TO FIND MYSELF. The party was ending and we were all standing outside. As it turns out, my friends knew you and your friends, and we all went to Waffle House. You asked for my number and it started from there.

You and I started to hang out soon after that, and instantly you told me that you had feelings for me. When we went on our first date, you could tell how nervous I was because I couldn’t even look you in the eyes. I didn't even know what to say. I had all these butterflies in my stomach.

After talking for few weeks, I felt like I could have possibly met this amazing guy that I would be with for years to come. I believed every word you said. Everything a little bit of affection you would give to me, I would take it and run. Thinking I finally found someone I can see myself with.

My mistake.

All the little things you did made me fall in love with you. Everything started quite fast, and I think that was my problem. I fell for you too fast, then you pulled away. I insisted to keep trying, thinking “He’ll come around." You would come around, and then you would leave again right before you gave us a chance. I hated when you did that.

Then you moved and everything went downhill. You would pass me up. I became a memory to you. You know that SZA song “Supermodel?" I would sing that all the time because I felt that shit. That was you and me. Well, not all of it, but the part where she wanted the person she had feelings for to see her as the girl of his dreams. I would give myself grief, wondering what was wrong with me. Why couldn't he see me? The truth is you never saw me and you will never see me.

Over these past couple weeks, I have had this feeling of anger and disappointment. Disappointment in myself because I let myself down. Let myself drown in the emptiness of wishful thinking that you would see me as the girl of your dreams.

What really sucks is that I would do absolutely anything for you. You knew that my loyalty ran so deep. You knew that and ran with it. You couldn't help but string me along.

I don’t even know why I'm writing this damn letter. Now, I have come to the conclusion that it's okay to angry with myself and disappointed. There will probably be many times like before, where I disappoint myself. I just take as a lesson and remember what happened.

But, lastly, this not hate letter, but a 'thank you' letter. Out of all this, I learned how to put what I want first. If it's not what I want, I'm not doing it. Before you, I was scared to let go of familiarity. Now I am confident enough to know that change is good.