Every morning is the same; wake up, get ready and begin the day. Whether you are unprepared to face the day ahead or ready for life’s wild ride; you are still forced to accept the daunting task that is beginning the day. Part of that comes with accepting what you’ve done in preparation for what lies ahead and moving forward, in which I struggle with. I become anxious. I think about what’s to come and overanalyze every possible outcome. After trying everything to overcome my anxiety and stop overanalyzing I have only found one way. To clear myself from this mindset each morning I have found applying makeup to be the only way to stop my worries and anxiety.
Now when I say applying makeup I don’t mean a face-full, it could be anything from just moisturizer and foundation to only mascara and eyebrows. But as I apply it my anxiety seems to fade away and my mind drifts. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a plain, jane kind of girl. All throughout high school I would keep my hair in a messy bun and rarely wear makeup. But throughout high school I was also hyper-anxious; fearing each day and what it had in store for me. I'd wake up full of fear and doubt with no way to release it or soothe the pain. It wasn’t until I began applying makeup more often that I realized how cathartic it could be.
Applying makeup in the morning has become the best way to calm my anxiety. It began as just me wanting to look more like an adult, stupid I know, but with out any recollection it quickly began to curb my anxiety for the day. Obviously anxiety is not something that will go away instantly or forever, but while applying makeup it feels like it is.
Within those 20 minutes I can think about whatever I want: not worry about the work I might have gotten wrong, the classes I have to go to or the work that’s yet to be done. In that time I can listen to music that no one likes, dance like I’m a child again, sing without fear and feel like myself without judgement of anyone else. That 20 minutes is a time in which anything is possible, except perfect winged eyeliner. In my mind I’m painting over my fears. It may sound strange, but it’s true. As I wipe on my moisturizer, primer and foundation I cover my worries and tear down my anxiety by filling in one eyebrow at a time.
