Here's the thing.

As long as I can remember, I've had a huge heart. I don't mean to fluff my ego or anything, because I mean that as a negative attribute. Forgetting about the subject of people, for a moment, I seriously tend to become engrossed in things in my life. For example, when I first starting playing lacrosse, my entire life became the sport. I practiced every single day, wanting to perfect my skills, score goals, and make a name for myself on the team. I dreamed about lacrosse, like, every day.

So, you can imagine how I am with people.

Whenever I meet a new friend, I want them to see the best in me. I literally give my entire heart to people that I'm close with. If anyone needs anything, I'm readily available. If someone asks me to do a favor, I'm the friend that's right by their side. I often think of others before myself, which initially seems like a positive quality. But it kind of sucks when a cute boy walks into class, and suddenly, my heart feels like I'm running a marathon, and his eyes are all I think of when I fall asleep.

It's hilarious, because I am in no way, shape, or form "boy crazy." I have witnessed some my friends who are obsessed with dating/can't stop thinking about if a fraternity boy texts them back/if they should swipe left or right on Tinder. I don't care about any of that stuff. School is my number one priority, and I truly enjoy making real friendships and making memories with my besties. I couldn't care less about Brad from Sigma Apple Pie. But just once in a while, I find someone that makes a spawn of butterflies erupt in my stomach and my fingers shake like the epicenter of an earthquake.

But I already know there's not a single chance in the world that I would ever deter from my destiny of living alone with 15 cats...

...and I'm not even a cat person.

It's because my heart is too big, and my backbone is too sturdy. I would give the entire world for someone I loved, but in this generation's "hook up" culture, I would put my foot down to not give anything at all. I'm too extroverted to spend my time with a single person, but I'm too passionate to not want to devote all of my time to a person that I care about.

I admit it, I'm the world's most stubborn girl. I couldn't date a guy that was too similar to me, or I'd lose my mind with their "extra," overly outgoing, and silly personality. But I couldn't date someone who's too different from me, or I would be annoyed with their viewpoints.

When I close my eyes, all I see is me with someone. I can look into the future and envision this enormous gushy heart of mine beating for a guy that I just can't stop thinking about. But in today's society, most males wouldn't touch this heart with a 10-foot pole. I know that I can be too much sometimes; I'm overly emotional, too passionate, too obsessive, and I have way too much anxiety. So many guys are overwhelmed by me.

But that's OK.

Because I can't even imagine being in a relationship right now. Life is too good to wonder what if. My career goals are too important, and I literally wouldn't want a world where I couldn't spend all of my time with my friends. My heart may be mushy and too big for this 4'11" frame, but maybe that's what makes me...me.

One day, someone's hands will be big enough to embrace my heart. Someone will look at me and NOT think I'm "too much," because they'll want MORE. Screw Brad from Sigma Apple Pi and all of the rest who choose the girls they can get because they're easier to obtain. One day, I'll be more obsessed with my soulmate than I ever will be with lacrosse.

That one day better come eventually, though, because I really really truly hate cats.