The Theme Song For Every NFL Quarterback, As Sang By Taylor Swift
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The Theme Song For Every NFL Quarterback, As Sang By Taylor Swift

Thank goodness football is back, amiright?

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The Theme Song For Every NFL Quarterback, As Sang By Taylor Swift
Grantland

The most wonderful time of year is finally upon us: football season. It's been a long, challenging offseason all around. (Of course, for some moreso than others... Here's looking at you Johnny Manziel). But alas, college football is well underway and now the NFL regular season is here once again to bestow the gift of months of 24/7 football.

Even if you don't follow football, you've probably heard some of the headlines leading up to opening night: Tom Brady is suspended for 4 games for Deflategate, Teddy Bridgewater is already out the whole season, Colin Kaepernick is now a backup, and on and on and on. To help you get aquianted with the new quarterbacks of the NFL as well as refamilarize yourself with the veterans, I assigned a Taylor Swift song to each of the NFL starting quarterbacks. Enjoy, and Happy Football Season.


AFC North

Joe Flacco


Team: Baltimore Ravens

Song: New Romantics

Key Line: And every day is like a battle/ But every night with us is like a dream/ Baby, we're the new romantics

With Joe Flacco back on the field, the Ravens are looking for great things this season. And from what we've seen so far, Flacco has some new weapons to take to battle and if they can get the chemistry right, maybe even a championship worthy relationship.

Andy Dalton


Team: Cincinnati Bengals

Song: This Love

Key Line: This love is good, this love is bad/ This love is alive back from the dead

Andy Dalton is finally getting some respect within the NFL. He may not have the postseason record to prove it (yet, anyway) but he's becoming a major threat because of his accuracy. After missing the end of the 2015 season due to a thumb injury, Dalton is back is alive and back from the dead, so to speak.

Robert Griffin III


Team: Cleveland Browns

Song: Blank Space

Key Line: So it's gonna be forever/ Or it's gonna go down in flames

For all of the hype that came with Robert Griffin III, he's been, well, a disappointment. However, the Browns have no where to go but after after drafting Johnny Manziel and RG3 is a solid improvement in comparison. It's possible RG3 was rushed into the starting position out of college and may very well be a franchise QB someday (thus the forever). It's also possible he simply won't ever make the transition into the pros (thus the flames). Only time will tell.

Ben Roethlisberger


Team: Pittsburgh Steelers

Song: Long Live

Key Line: When they gave us our trophies/ And we held them up for our town/ And the cynics were outraged

Ben Roethlisberger is arguable the most underrated- and under appreciated- quarterback in the league. Let's not forget that Big Ben claimed his first Super Bowl victory at only 23 years old in his second year in the NFL. Even now, he's one of the most efficient passers in NFL history. No doubt Steelers fans are screaming, 'Long live!'

NFC North

Jay Cutler


Team: Chicago Bears

Song: Picture To Burn

Key Line: As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn

Harsh, I know, but even Chicago fans are over Jay Cutler. Although he still plays a vital role on and off the field, Cutler seems to be past his prime and is just another player on an already struggling team.

Matthew Stafford


Team: Detroit Lions

Song: How You Get The Girl

Key Line: Broke your heart, I'll put it back together/ I would wait forever and ever

Not a strong team as of recent, the Lions are pros at breaking their fans' hearts. But if Matthew Stafford can create the right opportunities for his offense, he can put those hearts back together. Even if he has to wait forever.

Aaron Rodgers


Team: Green Bay Packers

Song: Style

Key Line: And when we go crashing down, we come back every time/
'Cause we never go out of style

Not only is Aaron Rodgers one of the more attractive quarterbacks in the league, but the Packers never really seem to go, well, out of style. Even last season when the team as a whole struggled, Rodgers still managed to lead his team to a record of 10-6. With Jordy Nelson back in the lineup, green and gold will definitely be in style this year.

Sam Bradford


Team: Minnesota Vikings

Song: Red

Key Line: Losing him was blue like I'd never known/ Missing him was dark grey all alone

The 'him' in the lyric line is most likely aimed at Teddy Bridgewater, who was all set to lead the Vikings to another great season. Replacing Bridgwater is Sam Bradford, who technically isn't starting right now because he's been on the roster less than two weeks. Hopefully, the fans get the to love Bradford like red before too long.

AFC South

Brock Osweiler


Team: Houston Texans

Song: Starlight

Key Line: And we were dancing/ Like we're made of starlight/ Like we dream impossible dreams

After sitting behind Peyton Manning for the Broncos and then leaving the Broncos for the Texans, Brock Osweiler is pretty happy to finally have a secure starting spot. Plus, he's got some pretty legit players- JJ Watt, for instance- to help him dream the seemingly impossible dream of winning a Super Bowl.

Andrew Luck


Team: Indianapolis Colts

Song: Haunted

Key Line: Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

A few weeks ago, an article was released about the best NFL quarterbacks who have never won a Super Bowl. Surprise! Andrew Luck not only made the list, but is at the top. And as the highest paid QB right now, not having that ring has got be the thing that haunts his dreams.

Blake Bortles


Team: Jacksonville Jaguars

Song: Forever and Always

Key Line: 'Cause one second it was perfect, now you're half way out the door.

There is no quarterback in the NFL that's more inconsistent than Blake Bortles. He's a classic boom or best player and when he's on his A game, he's the guy you want around forever (and always). But other days, you definitely want him out the door.

NFC South

Marcus Mariota


Team: Tennessee Titans

Song: Everything Has Changed

Key Line: All I know is a simple name, everything has changed

A tad dramatic, yes, but since drafting Marcus Mariota, Titans fans finally have something to be optimistic about. His rookie season was no Super Bowl performance for sure, but he showed his potential to one day be a franchise QB. The Titans made some smart moves this offseason, and who knows, maybe everything has changed for this once dismal team.

Matt Ryan


Team: Atlanta Falcons

Song: Bad Blood

Key Line: You know it used to be mad love/ So take a look what you've done/ 'Cause, baby, now we got bad blood

Ask any Falcons fan about what they're concerned about heading into this season and odds are you'll hear the name Matt Ryan. Despite talent and potential, Ryan had a down year in 2015 and there is definitely bad blood between him and the fans, who are most likely ready to move on to another quarterback.

Cam Newton


Team: Carolina Panthers

Song: Shake It Off

Key Line: 'Cause the players gonna play/ And the haters gonna hate/ Baby, I'm just gonna shake/ Shake it off

As the Panthers proved last year, winning in such a grand fashion brings haters. Lots of haters. And after Cam Newton's press conference debacle after losing the Super Bowl, haters flocked to him in the masses. T-Swift basically wrote the song for him.

Drew Brees

Team: St. Louis Saints

Song: State of Grace

Key Line: And I never saw you coming/ And I'll never be the same

Even though Drew Brees is a whopping 37 years old, the dude still has it. He's led the NFL in passing yards in four of the past five seasons, including the past two and is still breaking records. Whenever he decides to retire, the Saints will never be the same.

Jameis Winston


Team: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Song: 22

Key Line: Everything will be alright/ If you keep me next to you

I may have been partial to giving this song to Jameis Winston because he is 22, but it's also fitting. Rookie season is always difficult for a quarterback and now that Winston is through that, it's crucial fans stick with him and know everything will be alright, especially since Winston could very well be the surprise of the season.

AFC East

Tyrod Taylor


Team: Buffalo Bills

Song: Sad, Beautiful, Tragic

Key Line: We had a beautiful magic love there/ What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

We're less than a week into the regular season and the Bill and Tyrod Taylor, once again, are talented but a disappointment. The Bills' offense was primed to have a breakout year but despite the beautiful magic, it's a tragic love affair. At least for the moment.

Ryan Tannehill


Team: Miami Dolphins

Song: Fearless

Key Line: In this moment now capture it, remember it/ 'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this

Okay, in reality it could get better than this, but Ryan Tannehill has it pretty good. Even though the Dolphins don't have an allure of options that obvious Super Bowl contender teams do, Tannehill is making do with what he has and already looks like a serious threat in the red zone, where moments are worth capturing.

Tom Brady


Team: New Englad Patriots

Song: Better Than Revenge

Key Line: There is nothing I do better than revenge

Regardless of how you feel about Deflategate or Tom Brady in general, you can't argue with the stats screaming how great Brady is at his job. He still claims his innocence in the Deflategate debacle, and whether he is or not is irrelevant; he's seeking revenge as soon as his suspension is over.

Ryan Fitzpatrick


Team: New York Jets

Song: Hey Stephen

Key Line: Can't help it if there's no one else

Ryan Fitzpatrick had a solid year in 2015 as his first year as a Jet. Now entering his second year, expectations for the QB have gone up but there's one problem: he's kind of on his own. Key positions on the Jets team are still void and Fitzpatrick can't do it alone.

NFC East

Tony Romo


Team: Dallas Cowboys

Song: Teardrops on my Guitar

Key Line: He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

Dallas fans must have felt quite hopeful coming out of the offseason after Tony Romo missed most of last season due to a broken collarbone. But all hope of having anything but yet another mediocre season was utterly dashed after Romo broke a bone in his break 3 plays in to the preseason. Sorry Cowboys fans, maybe next year.

Eli Manning


Team: New York Giants

Song: Welcome to New York

Key Line: Everybody here wanted something more/ Searching for a sound we hadn't heard before

That 'something more' is a playoff birth in 2016. Technically, it's a sound the Giants have heard before, but Eli Manning needs to get the job done this year.

Carson Wentz

Team: Philadelphia Eagles

Song: Change

Key Line: Because these things will change/ Can you feel it now?

Change is in the air in Philly. The season ending injury to Teddy Bridgewater led to Sam Bradford getting shipped to Minnesota and thus giving Carson Wentz his starting spot on the Eagles roster. Can you feel it, Carson? (Probably. There's a lot of pressure that comes with being the starting QB in the NFL).

Kirk Cousins


Team: Washington Redskins

Song: Stay Stay Stay

Key Line: All those times that you didn't leave/ It's been occurring to me I'd like to hang out with you for my whole life

Whole life may be a stretch, but Kirk Cousins has established himself as a solid starter for the Redskins. He showed great progress last year as the go-to QB and looks ready for his prove-it season this year.

AFC West

Trevor Siemian


Team: Denver Broncos

Song: I Almost Do

Key Line: It takes everything in me not to call you/ And I wish I could run to you/ And I hope you know that every time I don't/ I almost do

The Broncos had a rough offseason in regards to quarterbacks. With Peyton Manning retiring and then Brock Osweiler signing with the Texans, rookie Trevor Siemian is essentially on his own. Although he's a promising prospect, it's hard to fill the shoes left by Peyton. I'm betting it takes fans everything in them not to call Peyton and beg him to come back.

Alex Smith


Team: Kanas City Chiefs

Song: Enchanted

Key Line: All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

Rewind to when Alex Smith was drafted and he was supposed to be the star quarterback for the 49ers. That obviously didn't work out, but he's doing pretty well with the Chiefs. Now, the team looks more than ready for the regular season behind Smith's lead.

Derek Carr

Team: Oakland Raiders

Song: Treacherous

Key Line: The path is reckless/ the slope is treacherous/ And I like it

Derek Carr is heading into this season as one of the best young playcallers in the league, even though no one is talking about him. The slope may be treacherous, but it's safe to say Carr is enjoying himself and is looking for more.

Philip Rivers


Team: San Diego Chargers

Song: The Story of Us

Key Line: I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down/ And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

Philip Rivers, at one point, was in the conversation about elite quarterbacks. But now it seems he's from far from that title. After winning only a handful of games last year, the Chargers love story with Rivers looks to heading south. Some might even call it a tragedy.

NFC West

Carson Palmer


Team: Arizona Cardinals

Song: I Know Places

Key Line: Let them say what they want, we won't hear it/ Loose lips sink ships all the damn time/ Not this time

Maybe it isn't what people are saying about the Cardinals, but what they aren't saying. Last year, Carson Palmer and Arizona was hugely underrated and was overlooked in both the regular season and postseason. It looks to be the same again this year, but Palmer is probably jamming to this song right now, agreeing 'not this time.'

Case Keenum

Team: LA Rams

Song: The Lucky One

Key Line: Chasing fortune and fame/ And the camera flashes, make it look like a dream.

With the hype that surrounding Jared Goff, it's a little surprising he's starting the regular season inactive as the third option at quarterback. None the less, it was lucky for Case Keenum who now has the starting spot and the chance he's been waiting for.

Blaine Gabbert

Team: San Francisco 49ers

Song: You Belong With Me

Key Line: Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find/ That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.

With the Colin Kaepernick drama that has engulfed the NFL as of lately, Blaine Gabbert has remained in the shadows. But now he's the starter, after the 49ers woke up and found that what they were looking for (a decent QB, that is) was there the whole time (and isn't Kaepernick).

Russell Wilson


Team: Seattle Seahawks

Song: Out of the Woods

Key Line: Are we out, are we out, are we out of the woods?/ Looking at it now, last December/ We were built to fall apart, then fall back together

It really is a good question for the Seahawks: are they out of the woods? After a Super Bowl win in 2013 followed by a Super Bowl loss in 2014, last year was a bit of a disappointment from Seattle. It's hard to tell this early, but it is possible Taylor Swift got it right and they needed to fall apart to fall back together.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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