On your way to work-
Let's pretend you've had the longest week of your life...and that maybe you've only had 6 hours of sleep out of 5 days. It's Friday, day 5...
You're in the car... and traffic is bad and you just might be late to work.
The voice tells you "there's something wrong" you tense with your hands on the wheel but keep driving...
"you're driving to work, & you're worried you're going to be late, everything is fine though." You tell yourself. "you don't have time to think about the voice." You convince yourself.
*You wiggle your shoulders and take a deep breath.*
BUT because you chose to ignore the voice.. the voice then says menacingly, "there is something wrong with your car, something is going to happen."
Of course anyone you'd try to explain this to would laugh in your face, and tell you you're being irrational.
You can't call anyone to help you calm down or figure out what's wrong... The voice is rather convincing.You know it is, it talks to you regularly: during class, in the shower, during dinner, when you're with friends... whenever it wants.
The voice drags you under with harsh words that cut through you like the sharpest blade. The voice instills a fear, panic and pain.
At this moment in time, you are beginning to truly feel like the car is going to blow up, or perhaps stall in an intersection. Every red light you hit starts to become a burst of pain that shoots through your body. All of the pain manages to meet in one place; Your chest.
It's a chilly fall day and you don't even have the heat on in your car, but you feel as if you have a fever... You touch your forehead with the back of your hand in panic. You shake your head as your reach to turn your AC on in 50 degree weather, you keep driving.
The voice tells you that you're not going to survive the car ride to work. It laughs at you and keeps telling you over and over that you are alone and no one will believe there is a voice.
You shake your head.
You're quiet.
You're frustrated, you want to cry.
BUT, If you cry someone driving in a car next to you might see you. What if they think you're crazy?
"Don't cry." You say out loud.
You keep driving. "You're 5 minutes from work." You remind yourself. ... nothing has happened yet, but your chest hurts and the voice is laughing.
"You're fine, you're going to make it.... " you say.
"S*** a red light." You scream.
You sit there, it's the longest light of your life.
The voice laughs and says "this is it." You tense up and your chest hurts. It feels like your heart is trying to break free from its cage.
You start counting 1...2...3...then you close your eyes- wait and brace yourself.
Then... Nothing.
Nothing happened, you opened your eyes because the car behind you honked.
The light is green.
You drive down the street and pull into work.
You didn't die in your car. You unbuckle your seatbelt and breathe.
The voice says... "See you when you get back."
The name of the voice is Anxiety.
This is my story.
