For the past few months, I've been avoiding writing this article. By finally writing this article, I've decided to share my story and to allow myself to re-experience all of the fear, hurt, confusion and anger over again. By finally writing this article, I'm finally putting the "difficulties of sophomore year" into a solid explanation for all to see. In the end, however, it isn't about the difficulties that I've personally experienced but about the problem present within society when it comes to sexual assault.

According to The United States Department of Justice, sexual assault is "any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape." Within the past decade, "consent" has been defined with emphasis (apparently too many excuses were being made about misunderstanding if a person clearly said "yes"). There have been numerous campaigns to bring the importance of consent to surface. Yet, we still live in a world where a privileged white male athlete takes advantage of an unconscious woman, who made the innocent decision to attend a party with her younger sister, and walks out of the courtroom with only six months in jail and three years' probation. And my parents wonder why I haven't decided to press charges...

Sexual assault victims can't even count on our "justice" system to provide some type of closure in the end of such a tragic experience. And that's just the thing, there is no end to being taken advantage of and stripped of ones pride, innocence... happiness.

Yes, statistics from RAINN, the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization, report that "[e]very two minutes an American is sexually assaulted, and every eight minutes the victim is a child." It also reports, "Only six out of every 1,000 perpetrators will end up in prison" (and who's to say for how long?). And we can't forget that "[one] out of every six American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime." However, sexual assault hasn't become a big enough problem based on the actions of the "justice" system or lack of awareness of the general public.

While going through these statistics, I realized how I, as well as other women I know, have become part of the numbers. For myself personally, "more than 50 percent of college sexual assaults occur in either August, September, October or November," checking off October; "Only 20 percent of female student victims, age 18-24, report to law enforcement," meaning I'm part of the 80 percent who remains silent. The list of statistics that suddenly related to me goes on. Although I didn't have the privilege of being part of the five women within the group of six who didn't have this life altering experience, and although I've made the decision to remain silent in terms of court, I refuse to remain silent besides that.

It took me five months to come to terms with what had happened. By that point in my life, I was forced to look at my entire school year to understand when I had become unfocused, broken, unstable and reckless. By that point in my life, I had allowed one more person to disrespect me and break my heart, struggled with studying, fallen into becoming antisocial, had been let go from one of my many jobs because I lacked the energy and enthusiasm that I had once had, and had completely lost touch with who I was. Considering the circumstances, I had been stripped of my innocence and purity. However, I ignored the affects that sexual assault had on me until I was truly forced to face reality. Once I did, I remembered the 14 hours I had spent crying within one day/night, the shame and hurt I felt, and the embarrassment I put myself through by trying to make something out of nothing.

For five months I walked around with my well-known smile, holding all of my pain inside and trying to be strong whenever I wasn't hiding behind a door. Besides two of my best friends, no one really knew what happened, not even my parents. So, when I came to terms with my experience, I slowly opened up and tried to reconnect with who I use to be. As of now, I still haven't reconnected and I don't believe I ever will considering how much I've changed and experienced since then. However, I've grown and gained the strength that I needed to recount what happened eight months ago. As I shared my story, I learned of others who had gone through a similar experience.

You may be surprised by how many women, or men, you know who are victims of sexual assault. It could be the person you least expect, as sexual assault does not discriminate. Keep in mind, everyone has a story.

Perhaps sexual assault hasn't become a big enough problem because there are still numerous people who don't understand how life altering and tragic it really is to be a victim. As Lady Gaga sings, "Til' it happens to you, you don't know how it feels." On a personal level, not only have I gained major trust issues and a somewhat negative outlook on things like dating, relationships or sex; I also have to aim on not letting such an experience define who I am or who I can be, because there was't light at the end of the tunnel for a long time.

I'm fortunate enough to have the support and love that I've had to eventually share my story because there are many victims who are still in the dark, or will never come out of it seeing as "33 percent of women who are raped contemplate suicide" and "13 percent of women who are raped attempt suicide" (RAINN's statistics did not report how many complete suicide). If you truly want to learn the affects of sexual assault on a more personal level, because maybe the statistics aren't putting things into perspective, then please read the letter of "The Stanford Victim." The problem isn't the party culture present in college, or the lack of reports (as that case is a perfect example of why there are a lack of reports), but it's the mindset of perpetrators and the lack of support for victims within our nation.

So I beg, please speak up for the woman or man who's too afraid or scared to speak up for themselves. Take the time to listen to people's stories and don't accept "I'm alright" as an acceptable response when you ask someone, who has seemingly changed, how they are doing. If someone opens up to you about their tragic experience, express as much sympathy that you can even if you can't fathom it. And be an up-stander, not a bystander, by being nosy and intervening in the interactions between the helpless or unconscious woman or man.

I didn't enter college believing that it'd happen to me. I too sat in the auditorium/theater during freshman orientation only halfway taking in the facts. Although it feels that I lost a lot from the experience, I've been capable to also gain a good amount from it as well and hope that you've gained something too from my decision to speak up and share my story, which continues from here.