I know, I know. Miscarriage is such a dark topic, it is something that should only be spoken of in hushed tones behind closed doors, it is dirty. False. Why is society so disturbed by the talk of miscarriage? Why are women shamed when they open up about losing a baby, as if it's something that should be kept a secret? Why can't women grieve the child they lost in peace, with support?
While doing some research on my own, I found some pretty heartbreaking statistics regarding the unspoken topic.
There are an average of 4.4 million confirmed pregnancies in the United States each year. Anywhere between 900,000 and 1 million of those confirmed pregnancies will end in pregnancy losses, and an estimated 500,000 of those losses are a result of miscarriage. (Statistics gathered from hopexchange.com)
Those are some pretty big numbers, so why are women pushed to keep their miscarriage private? It is no secret that suffering a miscarriage is a terrible, terrible loss for a mother or father. There are many emotions that a couple will go through, lots of confusion and misunderstanding and wondering "Why me?" I think one of the biggest issues with how miscarriage is dealt with in society today is the acceptance of Pro-Choice views.
Has the acceptance of abortion in society changed the way we react to miscarriage?
With growing support for abortion and a woman's rights over that of a fetus, losing a baby isn't viewed with the magnitude it once was. You see many Pro-Choice activists speak on the legitimacy of a fetus, calling it a group of cells or tissue. And for someone who doesn't want to have their baby, that may provide some comfort for them personally when they decide to terminate a pregnancy. But how does this affect a larger group of women who don't get the choice? The ones who lose the thing that they were most excited about? It creates a double standard for miscarriage and abortion. Some justify abortion by the qualities of the fetus, and maybe that has something to do with the feeling of insignificance that mothers feel who have suffered a miscarriage.
Why is society so open to discuss Pro-Choice and Pro-Life, but so hush-hush when it comes to talking about miscarriage? The lack of support that these grieving families deal with lead to many negative emotions. Mothers feel ashamed or at fault that their body couldn't support this child, I've even witnessed where people have placed the blame on the mother as if it really was their fault. PSA: Most cause for miscarriage is unknown.
As stated previously, there are around 500,000 women and families per year that have to deal with this trauma. That's 500,000 chances to show compassion, to be a shoulder to cry on, and to stop the stigma on miscarriage. This is a common occurrence that so many choose to deal with alone. There are so many others that have been there and so many more that will go through this. Help the next grieving mother, stop the stigma.
