Throughout life, we are given a general expectation of our respective “life plan:" kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, and then off to the real world. For people like me, this creates a daunting image. I would think, I have to go to school for sixteen years? IN A ROW?? College isn’t for everyone. Heck, school in general isn’t for everyone. That is something only the individual knows, and it’s an important decision that is not always easy to make.

I’m 25 years old and I’m a sophomore at Emerson College.

(Note: nobody in college does this ^)

It’s weird seeing all the people around me. Most of my classmates are 18 or 19, bright faced and optimistic, whereas I had to get out of the lowest depths of life before I was able to make it to Emerson. I want to say to all of them, “you just wait.” Not everybody is ready for what’s out there. I sure as hell wasn’t.

I knew from at least middle school that I would go to community college after high school, partially because I was a terrible student (underachiever) until I was about 23, and partially because my parents didn’t have the money for “real” college. That being said, I didn’t go right after high school. I had to get my fill of life without the restrictions of school first. It wasn’t that great. Ten-percent of my time was spent working, ninety-percent was spent chillin’. I did basically nothing with my time.

Around 20 years old, I decided to give college a try. Simply put, I failed miserably. I still wasn’t ready. I went for three semesters while battling severe depression and anxiety, both made worse by drug addiction. I attempted English Composition 1 three times at the same school and couldn’t complete any of them. I got an incomplete the first time, failed the second, and withdrew from the third. By the way, English was may major. That should give a little perspective of where I was.

I made it out of those three semesters and one summer session with a combined 12 credits, that school’s equivalent of one semester’s course load. Naturally, I had to drop out again. I still wasn’t ready. I had to take another two years and actually get my life together before justifying the time and money spent at college.

If you’ve made it this far, here’s where the story starts having a point. Thanks for sticking around.

Finally, in the spring semester of 2014, I was ready. Most importantly, I was sober, and I had a reasonable handle on my mental state. I also knew for sure what I wanted to do with my life, and the only way to get there was school. I completed three semesters at another community college and literally doubled my high school GPA. I decided to apply to Emerson before completing my associates and by some miraculous circumstance I was accepted. So, here I am, 25 years old and only one-third of the way through college. I’ll be 27 when I graduate.

The overall moral is this: it’s okay to not go to college right away. It’s okay to not go to college at all. Everybody has their struggles, and despite whatever made up stigma there may be for being old and in college, it’s all nonsense. It’s never too late to go back to school. There’s no age limit for college. College sports, maybe, but you can enroll in classes when you’re 80 if you want.

I’m not necessarily telling anyone to drop out, but the truth is, if you’re not ready, you’re just not ready. And if you’re only here to appease parents or society then you’re not going to get anything out of it, and you’re probably amassing an Atlantic-ocean-sized-pool of debt for no reason. Take some time off if you need to. Go travel, see the world, find a hobby, exercise, make friends, find a passion. These are only a few in a multitude of ides. But please, use your time productively. A gap year(s) are wasted if you do what I did and just keep it real around your home town. Explore your interests or do your best to deal with whatever is troubling you.

To quote a great man (The Doctor): “Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80.”

If you do go to school, go for something you actually like doing. Don’t major in engineering just because you’re good at math and there’s a hefty paycheck. I promise, you will hate your life if you become an engineer. Life is so much better when you do what you love for a living.

I do know that it’s not always indecision. If you’re anything like I was, lost, depressed, abusing drugs, or any combination of those, then take care of yourself first. You are more important than whatever society’s standards for education are. There are hordes of resources out there that can help you. Start with me, if you want. My Facebook information is on my bio page. Whatever you’re going through, I’ve probably been there too. I know what it’s like to feel so small and wholly insignificant, and nobody deserves to feel that way.

I’ll be frank with you: life is tough. Bad things happen to good people and vice versa. The best thing you can do, though, is know yourself. Know who you are and what you like to do; know what is best for you in the long run. It does suck but it’s not all bad. I promise you, dear reader, you are important. Your sanity and well being matters more than a college education. If you decide it’s not for you, great. Millions of people succeed without college. If you decide it is, great. Find something you love doing and do the hell out of it.

Life does suck, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it while it lasts. Greatness awaits you, whether you go to college right away, after a year or more, or not at all. The most important thing you can do is be kind and love yourself. After that, everything else is easy as pie.