As a youth, I had the privilege of traveling all around the world, which opened my eyes to the beauty that lies beyond what I call home, but it also opened my eyes to some of the world's realities. Beggars and panhandlers were always a common sight in my travels and I would always try to help whenever I could, but given that I was a young lad and had no job, I mostly was only able to offer the change I had for candy. The town where I grew up was generally an economically prosperous city. It of course still had various issues dealing with unemployment, homelessness, and a struggling lower class like any other city, but overall things weren't too terrible. My city was able to escape some of the fallout from the 2007 economic crisis due mostly in part to a newly exploited Haynesville Shale that provided vast amounts of natural gas which pumped money into our community. Like with all booms there are busts, and eventually the profits from the shale started to decline along with oil production in the areas as well. These declines lead to a chain reaction that took a toll on our local economy and we quickly saw a steep and steady decline. I wasn't around to see all of this happen since I was away at college, but once I moved back I immediately saw the changes.
Even though I had always encountered strangers asking for money, it was always so strange for me whenever I'd encounter someone in my own town asking me. Before I moved back after college I could count the amount of times I had been approached on one hand, but now it seemed like a daily occurrence. Whenever I'd ask friends and family if they'd experience this increase they would simply shrug and say something along the lines of, "Yeah, but don't listen to them, they're probably just going to use that money for drugs". That's a pretty presumptuous thing to say. I'd be livid if I finally mustered up the courage to ask someone for money or a favor and then got turned down because they assumed that I was going to spend it on drugs. I'm not ignorant to the fact that many people would, but that mentality is bananas - as well as insulting and counterproductive to helping the people in the community you share.
I think in the last two weeks I've had about seven different encounters, but there are three that stuck out to me the most. The first encounter was when I was sent to Brookshire's to pick up some ingredients for that night's dinner. The store that I went to laid next to a small patch of woods, and as I walked towards the entrance a man popped his head out of a bush inside the woods, crawled out, and started walking towards me. He told me he didn't mean to startle me, but that he would really appreciate it if I could spare him a twenty. The man went on to tell me how he finally got a job at a casino after weeks of searching, but that he couldn't start until later that week. I told him I didn't have any cash, but that I didn't mind grabbing him something from the deli to which he at first declined and insisted on the money. But, once it became clear that I didn't have cash and his only option was the offer I had made him, he accepted. He only asked that I not embarrass him when we went inside and make a big deal about it. Once he grabbed his food he thanked me and ran back into the woods out of sight. I stared into the woods wondering if anything he told me was true about his new job, but it didn't matter because his honesty shouldn't be a determinate in helping him if he needs to eat.
The second encounter was one night when I hid my parent's toilet paper so I had an excuse to get out of the house. I love walking around Target and pretending I have the money to actually shop there. I was once again approached in the parking lot, but this time by an older couple in a beat up car. It looked like they had been making rounds around the parking lot because he had his whole script down. "Hey man, can you help us out? My car broke down, and we had to get a new starter, and my brother is in the VA and they're going to pull the plug on him at midnight, is there anything you can do, we just need a couple of sandwiches to get us through the night". I gave him a blank stare for a couple of seconds just because it was so much to take in at once. I once again wondered the validity of the story, but once again it didn't matter to me in the end. They weren't even asking for money. They were just asking for some food to make it through the night, so I agreed and got them some deli sandwiches and some bottles of water. They looked surprised when I walked out with the bag, as if they didn't believe me when I went into the store, but they looked relieved as well. They waved as I drove off and I couldn't stop thinking about them for the rest of the night.
The third and most recent encounter actually took part during two different instances. One night I was going to a friend's house to watch some tv and decided to stop by the Circle K next to her house to grab a drink. As I got out of my car this old man approached me and asked, "Are you a good guy, or a bad guy?". I sat there like an idiot actually thinking about whether I was a good guy. I suppose it depends on who you ask and what the determining factors consist of, but I told him that overall I thought I was a pretty good guy. He went on to tell me that his wife threw him out and that his son was absent due to addiction and that he was diabetic and spent his last amount of cash on a candy bar to keep his sugar up. All he wanted was a ride to a tire shop that was close to friend's house. He chose the tire shop because he didn't want to "spook" me by taking him all the way to a stranger's house at night. I appreciated his consideration. The parking lot was full and it seemed everyone stopped to see what I was going to do. It was apparent he had already asked a lot of people around us and was declined by every single one. I agreed and we put his bike in the back of my car and I took him to the tire shop. As we spoke he had his head hanging low to which he claimed was the result of the lack of his medicine. Once he got out of my car and rode off, I was glad I helped, especially after seeing how bad he was feeling. A couple of days later as I was walking out of a Thrifty Liquor after putting a deposit down for a keg I needed for a party that weekend, I saw that same man riding up and he hit me with the same question, "Are you a good guy or a bad guy". I asked him, "Don't you remember me? I gave you a ride the other night?". He simply replied, "Oh, well you got any money? I need to eat." I told him I was sorry but had spent everything I had on a deposit, and then he mumbled some profanities at me and rode away.
The last encounter was vexing, but I don't want it to be a determinate for future encounters. Yes, sometimes people lie, and sometimes people misuse what you give them, but I care deeply for my community and I'd rather take a chance and believe in someone than pretend to be some self-righteous person who is ignorant to the pains and struggles of others in the world.
