The Top Ten Ways To Procrastinate Your Final Paper
The most efficient ways to avoid any productivity in those final dreadful weeks of the semester.
Well the time has finally come, there is absolutely no need to get anything done in any rush. After all, you've worked hard all semester, surely you can crank out that final paper in just a few hours. With that being said, what is the most effective way to make sure you don't crack open that laptop until just a few hours before that 11:59 p.m. deadline.
1. Clean Your Room
Often the end of the semester means relocating, whether that means back to your parents home or to your first solo apartment, it's probably time to start tidying up. The longer the paper, the more in-depth the cleaning. Maybe you should fully reconsider your wardrobe? Perhaps it's time to completely color coordinate every sock you own.
2. Call Your Grandparents
To be honest, you should have been doing this all semester long, but better late than never. Call all your extended family, friends, family friends, your friends family, and your hairdresser. Say "hello!" and listen to your aunt Helen give an in-depth analysis of her cat's feeding schedule. After all, this is way better than micro-analyzing concepts and dragging yourself through a final paper, right?
3. Vacuum your car
Now, this might have already happened when spring weather finally sprung and your first serotonin spike motivated you to clean away the winter drudge, but you've probably chauffeured for half of the campus in the recent weeks, how can you possibly write a paper knowing that? Head on out and spend hours detailing every inch of your beat up Toyota Corolla.
4. Do Your Laundry
Well, well, well... looks like those free t-shirts didn't quite make it to the home stretch of the semester. Go ahead and shuffle around some books until you finally locate those free detergent samples you scored earlier in the year. Nothing will set you up for success like a fresh pair of leggings or a newly washed hoodie that you'll live in during finals week.
5. Write Or Call Your Local Representatives
Alright, you don't want to write your essay, but that doesn't mean you should sit dormant. There are lots of things to take action on in your communities, counties, and state. Research an important topic you hold close to your heart, form and educated opinion, and write your representatives. Is it really procrastinating if you're busy starting a grassroots movement?
6. Decide To Volunteer
This could be a fun excuse to play with puppies all day long. Seek out your local humane society and see where you can lend a hand. This tip is sure to alleviate stress and help you feel productive all at once.
7. Write Thank You Cards
Take some time to reflect. You've probably had at least one family member, TA, friend, professor, resident assistant, bus driver, or local morning man on the street who has impacted your semester in some positive way. Perhaps they floated you a dollar here or there, or maybe they even gave you a ride to class so you didn't have to hike to your early morning class in subzero temperatures. Either way, reach out and send them a thank you card. Small acts of kindness help the world keep spinning.
8. Meal Prep
Nothing says "I am the definition of health" like pre-planning some delicious meals for your upcoming finals. There is no need to make these meals hard or drawn out. Maybe its just deciding which flavor granola bar will carry you through the day tomorrow. Either way, take the time and make sure you think about how you are the epitome of self care.
9. Go To The Gym
This one is a serious life hack. You may feel like this is the farthest thing from productive, but getting into the weight room will leave you feeling level headed and refreshed. The blood circulation will help you think clearly, plus. you'll have already accomplished something for the day, why go overboard and strain yourself with a final paper.
10. Scroll Through All Social Media Outlets
The best and most reliable way to procrastinate- catch up on all your friends through every social media outlet. This means hours on hours of Spring Break throwbacks and "Is it Summer Yet" captions. Maybe add to the feed by ranting on your finsta about the amount of work you have to do, but completely avoid it by posting on social media.
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