An Open Letter To The Friends That I No Longer Need
Some friends are forever, and others are for now.
Out growing friends, even your best friends, is just apart of life...it happens to everyone. Think back to all the people we've called friends and best friends over the years, how many are left? Only a handful, and that's perfectly okay. You're supposed to grow and changed, and as you grow and change you let go of people that you thought were going to be around forever. Some friendships ended on bad terms, but most people you just out grow and lose touch with, as life gets busier. You obviously still want them to succeed in life, but you just don't feel like they have a part of your life anymore. I for one am no different, I have had friends just drift apart and I've had friendships that ended on bad terms.
To the friends I no longer need,
I knew it was coming, whether you did or not. For some friends I knew it was coming in quickly and for others I felt this way about for YEARS, before it finally happened. Honestly, it was weighing heavy on my mind before I made the decision to distance myself from you, or just cut you off completely. It wasn't out of jealously, spite, pettiness or anything like that. To put in simple terms, our energies no longer matched.
If you don't understand how our energies don't match anymore, let me explain.
I've been around negativity far too long, to let it linger into my mid twenties. I'm almost 23 years old, I don't want to listen to the he said, she said drama. I don't want to listen to the excuses of why you feel stuck in your life, when you make little to no effort to do anything about it. I don't want to deal with the mind games of relationships. I don't want the bad decisions around me anymore. I don't want trash talking other people because you don't agree with how they live their live around me, because honestly it's childish. And I certainly do not want to deal with people who are overly attached and dependent on their significant other around me. Not that I'm the bitter friend but because if I want to spend time with you, they don't always have to be there, and because if you aren't with them, then you are completely miserable.
I'm focused on finishing my degrees. I'm focused on my writing. I'm focused on work. I'm focused on trying to get back into my old hobbies. I'm focused on looking at grad schools. I'm focused on all aspects of my health, and wellbeing.
Quite honestly, I just don't have time for people who are stuck in their high school childish ways. You know where everything is about them, and they think that they are so perfect and can do nothing wrong. You know where they only tell the part of the story that benefits them, and them only? You know where they run behind the protection of their mom and dad, and other friends, but will NOT say anything to your face? The one where they don't answer messages and when they do, they are completely fake and giving you some sweet bullshit message so they don't seem like they did anything wrong? You know the ones where they would rather you take ALL the blame for a falling out than admit that they were a major part of it too? Yeah those.
To be even more honest, I don't have time for the people who just straight up ignore you either, and then be like, "I was making it clear I don't want to be friends anymore". Uhhh no, making it clear is saying the words "I do NOT want to be friends anymore", either to my face or in a message, but not ignoring somebody for days, weeks, and months, especially when I am reaching out to you. But it;s completely different not talking when your lives just drift apart, and nothing happens. BUT WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENS, SPEAK UP!!!
I mean I get the message you're poorly trying to send, but just be an adult and use your voice, say whatever you have to say.
See the thing is, if you aren't interested in growing up and maturing than I don't need you around me. I don't need somebody, or a bunch of people around me to bring me down and distract me. I don't need to take a huge step forward then get sucked into your negative energy and end up taking 10 steps back. I don't need somebody who can't see that they did wrong, because I cannot be the only one owning up to my decisions, good, bad and ugly. If we had a bad falling out, I'm not gonna hide or lie about my actions, like one of the girls I called my best friend.
A huge part of it is wanting to be more PRIVATE in my life. I don't need a bunch of people or even just one person to let other people no everything I'm up to. If I mention it, then I want people to know. But even with that, I don't mention things in great detail. (Don't use my articles to say that I go into detail about my life, because none of my articles even begin to scratch the surface of whatever I was writing about.)
And just because I don't want you around me or around me as much, does not mean that I'm wishing bad things on you. I still want to see you succeed and I still want you to do what make you happy. But in this moment in time, I don't see our friendship going anywhere. The only thing I see it doing is hold me back from my future. Which is something I will never be willing to compromise.
And if that makes me an awful person, than so be it. I'd rather be considered an awful person, than be surrounded by people that no longer have a part in my life.
(Also, this was about me and my friendships, things people have told me about their friendships with other people, and things I have witnessed..it is NOT about a certain person or people, in particular.)
