I have a complicated relationship with the term resting bitch face, or RBF for short. For better or for worse, I have it, and people have been reminding me of this fact my whole life. I never see it in myself until I catch my face in the back of a candid photograph and realize that I look seriously pissed off. A large part of me believes the RBF craze is sexist and arbitrary, as women are much more frequently called out for it than men. That being said, I recognize that I have RBF. For those suffering from the same affliction, chances are you here at least one of the following phrases daily.
1. "Are you okay?"
I get this a lot. Something about my face makes people think that I am upset all of the time. Add in something that I actually am upset or stressed out about and forget it. I'll get home to at least three texts checking in that nothing is seriously wrong with me.
2. "I thought you hated me when we first met."
This one is for all of my current best friends who constantly remind me that they thought I didn't like them when we first met. All I can say about this is although having RBF may not always leave the best first impressions, your real friends are those who stick around to find out there's more to you than just a judgmental face.
3. "Smile!"
Don't even get me started on this one. I may have RBF, but I stand by the fact that no one can smile 24/7 - nor should they. Sorry, I don't always have a smile on my face when I'm walking to class or sitting in my 8:30 a.m. lecture. I don't think it makes me a bitch–just human.
4. "She's so intimidating."
Of all of the statements on this list, I'm least bothered by this one. Although I think RBF can set you back because it makes you less approachable, being called intimidating is not always a bad thing. The fact that women are often called bitchy because they don't appear happy all of the time is a clear example of the sexist nature of the RBF phenomenon. As a woman in our patriarchal society, sometimes looking a little bit intimidating can go a long way. If you need any more proof, just look to Victoria Beckham, Rihanna, Anna Wintour or Queen Elizabeth II - all powerful women who have been called out for their RBF.
