You enter the war zone: the chaos, the destruction hit you immediately. Voices cry out over others, each demanding to be heard. A discarded shoe lies haphazardly in the corner. Papers litter the ground. Days’ worth of trash has accumulated, utterly ignored. There's a slight toxic odor in the air, like powdered mac and cheese.

Instead of heading for the hills, you greet your roommates and whatever guests are occupying the room. It's one of those moments where you've gotten in late after being gone for a day or two and all you want to do is sit down and do some chemistry. Or maybe some psychology. Whichever requires less effort.

But you can't—because a hurricane of people has passed through your shared living space. It’s fine, you think, as you nudge aside some papers and take a seat on the floor, I didn’t need peace and quiet anyway.

Whether you have one or three roommates, at least once, even if it’s just for a fraction of a second, you’ve probably wanted to strangle them.

I was raised as an only child with sisters considerably older than me so I watched, horrified, as my numerous nieces and nephews fought over territory and toys. Living with other people was terrifying concept. And now I live with three other girls.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my suite mates. They’re some of my best friends. But cohabiting a small space can sometimes seem like a battlefield, especially when you factor in homesickness, homework, and just plain old bad days.

Here’s seven Golden Rules to surviving and thriving with roommates:

1. Respect each other.

Space. Quiet. Do the dishes.

Everyone has different views and habits and it's important to remember what we were all taught in kindergarten...respect each other! Don't leave your messes everywhere or have friends over till late in the morning when you know your roommate has a test at 8 AM the next morning.

2. Be direct.

Leaving passive aggressive notes or screaming at each other is an extreme that you should probably not resort to, but at the other end of the spectrum, don’t avoid confrontation. If someone’s not doing the dishes—gently—let them know. Quietly complaining to a friend about a roommate problem won’t fix anything. It’ll just make resentment grow.

3. Set aside time for just you and your roommates.

Take some time for just co-habs. It’s great to have friends over especially if you have friends in common, but having evenings to yourselves is a great way to get to know each other and touch up on each other’s lives, along with defining boundaries and rules you can all agree with. Your roommates are support system and have to work through problems together.

4. On the other hand, spend some time by yourself.

Get out of your dorm and treat your mind to some alone time to recover your sanity. Take an aimless, wandering stroll or find a quiet bench to sit on with some Starbucks and a book. Get out there and explore your campus! Also, remember that when you study alone you’ll probably get twice as much done. Find a corner and get to work, then you can go back to the noisy chaos that is your room and actually enjoy the company, rather than anxiously trying to block it out while doing homework.

5. Stay organized!

Even if you’re the tidiest person you’ve ever met and always have a pristine room, your roommate might not which means that things can get untidy fast. And even if you say you’ll clean a dozen times, the excuses pile up—too busy, too tired, “it’s not my turn”—so sometimes you just have to suck it up and get it done. That’s why it’s important to clearly define chores and cleaning duties. It can be helpful to make a clear schedule and write it down. And though (let's be real) you won't stick to it precisely, having those rules staring you in the face makes it easier to get into the habit of tidying up.

6. Don’t ignore each other.

Your roommate doesn’t have to be your best friend, but pretending that they don’t exist when they’re around is no way to spend the year. Try to stay on amicable terms to have the smoothest year possible. If you’re upset at each other, take some time to cool off, but don’t let that brooding period go on too long. It’s downright childish and makes the situation worse.

7. Lastly, remember that living with non-family is hard on everyone.

Sharing your living space is not just adjusting to different lifestyles. Although you may seem similar, you and your roommates, come from different backgrounds , routines, and habits. Boundaries get crossed all the time. Moreover, those boundaries are subjective to each person, so often times it’s hard to even tell when they've been crossed! Being flexible is key. You have a right to your privacy and wishes, but so do your roommates.