10 Pieces Of Advice For Living With Your Roommates Your Freshman Year

10 Pieces Of Advice For Living With Your Roommates Your Freshman Year

It's not so bad living with three other people!
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Dear Freshmen,

Congrats!! You know who your roommates are! You're probably thinking, "Oh this is going to be great! It's like one huge slumber party!" And you're right, but only for the first week or so once you move in. Here is some advice I would love to pass onto you from what I learned my freshman year after having three other roommates.

1. Add one another on social media.

I already knew my roommate -- we had decided at orientation that we wanted to live together. Once we figured out who our other two roommates were, we added one another on all social media. What's a little stalking going to hurt? You're already assigned to live together.

2. Start a group chat.

Group chats are a lifesaver during the summer! I made one for my roommates and me so we could keep up with who was bringing what. Plus, it was a great way to see how you all communicate together.

3. Make lists.

Lists are important. Go ahead and make one of the things you need, but make a side list of the stuff everyone said they were bringing so you don't have doubles or triples of the same thing.

4. Stick to the Roommate Agreement.

After about two weeks of living together, you will all have to sit down and sign a roommate agreement form for your RA. Sure, you can have fun when talking things out, but remember, whatever you put down is what you live by. If there is a conflict later on down the road, your RA will pull the roommate agreement and go over each part of it with the four of you. So put realistic answers down.

5. Communicate.

Communication is key! As the year progresses and something is bothering you, like for example, your roommate uses your make up without your permission, don't start drama with the whole entire hallway, just go and talk to them. Hopefully they won't bite your head off.

6. Use "I" statements.

Continuing on from number 5, when talking to either one or all of your roommates, use "I" statements to address the problem. If you begin accusing them either individually or as a group, that is just a fight waiting to happen. Be calm, use those "I" statements, and be open to hearing what they have to say. There's always at least two sides of the story.

7. It's okay if you're not best friends for life.

It really is! You can't force a friendship. One of my suite mates and I don't really talk to one another anymore, and we didn't talk that much during the year. We only talked to each other if we really needed to communicate about something; other than that, we just let each other do her own thing, and it was ok! We were fine with that.

8. Don't get bummed if one roommate wants to be alone.

Personal space is something people enjoy and usually need every once in awhile. I am an extrovert, no question, but I really enjoy my me time, sitting on my bed watching Netflix and everything calm. There were several times that couldn't happen, so I grabbed my laptop and would go and sit in the Multi-Purpose Room to get away from the 10 people that gathered in my suite every night. I loved them all, but I needed that time to recuperate from that day and binge watch Netflix.

9. Respect one another.

Aretha Franklin does a great job at spelling this one out. But treat others the way you want to be treated. If you don't want your roommates to rummage through your things, then don't go through theirs. If you have permission, great, but other than that, respect everyone's belongings and feelings.

10. Have Fun!

It's freshman year! Have fun, laugh, make memories, and enjoy it all, because in the blink of an eye, it will all be over. Your roommates will be there with you making those memories too, either together or separate, you always know about the memories no matter what. Communication is key, remember?


Sincerely,

Survivor of Freshman Year

P.S. You can be a Freshman Year Survivor too! Just follow this advice, consult your RA if you need help, and always remember to have fun!

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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Goodbye School, Hello Real World

I'm ready for ya!

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It's starting to hit me.

I've been in school, year after year, since kindergarten. Maybe even pre-school!

Now, I'm about to graduate with my bachelors in communication and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I'll say it. I often sugarcoat it or suppress it but d*mn it. I'm going to applaud myself. It was hard work. It took a lot of motivation, determination, (caffeine), and willpower to get to where I am today. I worked my ass off.

That being said, I can't help but think... What is life without due dates? What is life like without scrambling to turn in an assignment that's due at 11:59 PM? What is life like with actual sleep? Sleep? I don't know her.

Like I keep telling my boyfriend and my parents, I don't have it all figured out. At least not right now. But I will, and I'm in no rush to land my dream job right now. If anything, I want to take a year to myself. I want to travel. I want to sleep in if I d*mn well please! I want to read as many books as I want. I want to write till my fingers fall off (OK, maybe not that).

You get the jist.

I'm free. I can do and be whatever I want. And you know what? That's terrifying.

I'm lost. I've followed this structure for so long. Now what?

I don't have all the answers yet. But for now, at least right at this very moment, I'm so thankful to have been able to receive such an amazing education. And to be able to say I'm graduating with my bachelors in communication at 21 is an accomplishment in itself.

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