There are a lot of myths about introverts— we're pessimistic, hate social gatherings and are bad at (or terrified of) public speaking. One more time: they are myths. It is true, though, according to one website, that we find small-talk tiring and enjoy time to ourselves; pair this with the fact that college consists of meeting lots of new people and almost constantly engaging in unprecedented situations and we introverts are faced with a slight dilemma. Here's a list of reminders and tips on how to stay happy and healthy mentally, physically and emotionally while being an introvert in college:
1. It's 100% OK to say "No"
2. Stay hydrated
I'm a firm believer in the power of water. Anytime I have a headache or feel a cold coming on, I chug even more than usual. But in general, water has lots of positive effects on the body, including the ultimate goal of staying alive. With less headaches and a generally clean system, we're able to think more clearly and make decisions that are ultimately better for us. (Keep in mind that you don't just have to drink water to stay hydrated— there are a variety of fruits and vegetables that can make up part of your water intake!)
3. Don't ignore the voices in your head— good or bad
Everyone has an internal dialogue. For some of us, it's a helpful little voice that steers us in the right direction and away from bad decisions. For others, it's a discouraging voice that manipulates the real world and makes living in it extremely difficult. One article suggests that "introversion has been definitively and repeatedly linked to depression, suicidal ideation, and attempted suicide." This does not mean that introverts are depressed or suicidal; rather, it means that the alone time most introverts need to function properly can sometimes lead to full-on loneliness, which can then lead to depression. If you're hearing good voices in your head, listen to them because they want what's best for you. But if you're hearing other, negative voices, make sure you acknowledge them, too. College campuses have lots of resources for students suffering from depression and other mental health issues.
4. Take time for yourself
People tend to think that introverts hate socializing— not true! Some of us love spending time with other people; but being around people tends to drain us more easily than extroverts. College is about making friends and connections that will help you in the "real world" post-graduation, and I encourage you to get out there as much as possible to meet new people, but please don't ignore your own needs! It's OK to stay in one weekend or lock yourself in your room with a good book or Netflix alone. You'll feel much better about your daily routine when given time to process and recharge.
5. But don't forget to socialize
As an introvert who needs more alone time than some, I understand how easy it is to get sucked into my own world of books and Tumblr. Being alone is especially relaxing to me; I even enjoy doing things around people alone, like grocery shopping or walking around campus. For me, after spending so much time dodging friends to be by myself, I always feel bad when trying to reconnect with them, like they're mad at me for going MIA. (Note: Make sure that you explain to your friends that you require alone time to be an actual person.) Try to limit your time alone to what you need and not disappear for days at a time; it's crucial that you have social time to avoid feelings of loneliness and possible depression. This website has a list of tips for socializing (I personally like #3!).
6. Exercise
Exercise is like water, in my opinion— it fixes everything. It obviously helps keep our body physically fit (and will help ward off that freshman 15 people are always talking about), but it also boosts energy and mood levels, according to this website. Setting aside two or three times a week between classes or before you start your day will greatly improve your outlook on college life, especially the more draining parts like long projects or dreaded presentations.
7. Feed your strengths and interests
I know you're going to have a busy schedule, I've been there, but it's really important to do things outside of class and homework. Figure out what you're interested in and join a club or two; this will ensure you remain semi-social and help you create connections with people who share similar interests. lmurphy also writes on their blog that joining clubs in college helps relieve students' stress levels by providing "fun activities that people enjoy doing." College campuses often host club days where students can visit each club's booth and find out more information— check it out!
8. Create a few close relationships
It can be overwhelming for introverts to have a lot of acquaintances; we often fare better with a select number of friends who we're especially close to. But even maintaining relationships with a handful of close friends can seem like an impossible task: we "busy introverts have a tendency to say to [our]selves, 'Tomorrow, maybe this weekend. Before the end of the month, for sure'" (check out 16personalities.com for more of this article). The truth is we need these close relationships to survive college but we have to put in the effort. We've all heard the saying "it goes both ways" and that's true, but if you find yourself in a position to reach out to a friend and delete the text instead, I'm telling you, take the leap. Trust me, I've been in that same position too many times to count (I've just been lucky enough to have super understanding friends).
9. Know your limits
Your body will tell you when it's time to recharge. Pushing yourself beyond that limit is dangerous for yourself and those around you; you'll probably wind up in some teary breakdown and the people you were forcing yourself to hang out with after the alarm sounded are going to be extremely confused with you. When you start feeling drained, take a step back, even if it's just 30 minutes locked in your room or the fifth floor of the library— make time for some of that alone time we mentioned earlier.
10. Have a healthy coping mechanism
I usually write or read whenever I've been around people too much; it gives me a chance to tune in to that voice in my head and take inventory of myself and what I need. Even going by myself to events I enjoy— like open-mic poetry readings— helps me cope. I've definitely had my moments where I shut people out and dance on the line of depression instead, and it's not a fun time. Make sure you know how to handle yourself in a healthy way when life becomes too much; if you aren't sure what to do with yourself in these slightly darker times as an introvert, reach out to a trusted friend or a campus resource.
11. Be forgiving of yourself and others
It's OK to freak out. Try not to beat yourself up when you have an off day full of avoiding eye-contact and hating humanity; make a goal to do better tomorrow by talking to at least three people you don't know or something like that instead. And try to remember that not everyone needs space to function. When your friends get mad at you for going MIA or for saying no to going out on Friday, don't hold a grudge. Breathe in, out and let it go. They'll do better next time, too.
Some of us are the most positive people alive, we love socializing and we enjoy giving great presentations to large audiences— every introvert is different. But there are some basic things we have in common, and if you do your best to acknowledge them and keep them in check, college will be a breeze. Just know yourself and don't be afraid to do what's best for you at any given time. You can do this!
