I've been thinking a lot about self-help lately: what it is to me, how it varies from person to person, and how it affects the future. The summer before my sophomore year of college, I made a visit to a therapist in my hometown. While most of that day was spent talking about my problems to a complete stranger, she reminded me of something very important: sometimes you don't always have to be who you are supposed to be. Each and every one of us are on our own path to our version of success, and nobody's is exactly the same. My idea of what my perfect life would be like is completely different from my sister's...and my roommates'...and my parents'. And that's OK. At first the thought of feeling like a crazy person just by being there scared me, but then I came to a huge realization:
None of the best moments of my life were things I did in my comfort zone.
Sounds pretty cliche right? I never realized how important this was going to become until I was sitting in the middle of a lecture hall 10 minutes before a test, just looking at the people around me. We were all in this class to do the same thing but for a different purpose. Someone in here could be a future doctor, lawyer, a future president; and it all seemed comfortable, because I knew what I was supposed to be doing. The hard part about getting too comfortable, however, is that it is rather boring and completely unfulfilling.
Going to school has made us scared of the unknown and too often unwilling to try new things. We're all expected to go to college, get a degree, and not do anything to mess that up. But I've never had an amazingly good time or done anything that was super memorable by sitting in a lecture hall. Everything worthwhile that I have done has terrified me: I'm scared of flying, but one of my fondest memories is when I visited a place in California I'd never been before. I'm scared of starting conversations, but I never would've met my current friends if I hadn't walked down the hall and said "hello" the first week of school last year. I'm scared of interviewing for things that aren't guaranteed, but I've just accepted an exec position on a committee that I tried and failed to get last year. I'm also scared of letting people know too much about me, and yet I write articles about what scares me.
I surprise myself everyday by doing something that makes my anxiety increase by 1000; this is my self-help. Whether it's small like speaking up when I know the answer in a class, or something big like having conversations with my family about deciding whether or not I want to transfer schools, I have made it a point to not let anxiety control my life. If you would have told me at 16 about half the things I did in my time at college so far, I would have thought you were joking because back then the most courageous thing I did was ask someone to take a picture with me. The point of this is to make it a point to challenge yourself. Go into everyday with the mindset that you're going to do something that your 16 year old self would have been scared to do. Don't be afraid to surprise yourself. I can almost guarantee that it will always be worth it.
"You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it." -Benjamin Mee, "We Bought A Zoo"
