To my fellow Middlebury students, you may be wondering why you haven’t seen me making a panini in Proc or walking to Axinn for an Italian class, sitting in a Queers and Allies meeting or eating a Doctor Feel Good at the Grille. The answer is: I’m taking a gap semester. After a difficult spring semester, and a summer spent recuperating, I decided that I needed a break from Middlebury. I believe that this fall is my chance to get to know myself, to grow, explore and learn about the world outside our bubble. When I get back to Middlebury, I think that I will be able to live the life I want at Midd - the life I couldn’t live last year.
While I miss the first day of classes, the hugs and reunions, the first hall meeting for the Gifford suite I’m not living in, I remind myself of the goals I have for this fall, of the fact that it will allow me to return to Middlebury stronger and better than ever. It sinks in that I am now part of the class of 2019, and I remind myself now of the fact that life does not follow a linear path, and college doesn’t need to either. With 20/20 hindsight, I wish that I had taken a gap year before coming to Midd and I am reaching out now to support the power of giving yourself a break.
Like many Middlebury students, I spent high school in a competitive, high-pressure high school environment. College was the light at the end of the tunnel, and my acceptance and decision to attend Middlebury felt like a weight off my shoulders. But when I arrived at Midd, I was working harder and putting more pressure on myself than ever before. We exist in a culture of stress, of laptops on dining hall tables and late nights in Davis or hunched over a coffee in a booth in Wilson café. We compete over who has the longest to do list, and party out the stress on the weekend. I love Midd, but I’ve realized that after six years of high stress environment after high stress environment, I need and deserve a break.
This fall I’ll read for pleasure, reconnect with my family, write poetry, visit friends at other schools and climb mountains. I’ll go to therapy, challenge my sense of self and learn to define myself outside of academics. Because who am I besides an English major, a member of Atwater Commons and a board member for Queers and Allies? I don’t think I know yet.
I challenge you to look at yourself, to consider who you are and what you value outside of academics. I challenge you to look at the world outside of the Middlebury bubble and consider what it means to you. This gap semester is my chance to find the answers to those questions, and I hope you give yourself the chance to find your own answers.
