Super Bowl media day offers the world some insight into the complex realities of the NFL culture but, basically, they are the same socioeconomic complexities of the sorority recruitment process.
The National Football League and the Panhellenic council oversee an unhealthy, healthy competition between respective chapters preparing to broadcast how much better they are than the others, despite being inherently indistinguishable.
The Greek community anxiously awaits the preference round outcome of “top” houses’ battle to the death on bid day, Super Bowl Sunday. Nothing is guaranteed, but spectators know there will be two things for certain: tears and beer. Thirty years later, and these same veteran fraternity dudes cuddle on a couch together, drinking beer watching this year’s top houses -- the Seahawks and the Patriots.
The Patriots have been known as a top house long enough for some legacies to brag about their family ties to Bill Belichick, the Patriots' head coach. What makes him so successful is what makes him so controversial. His most recent scandal involves a deflated football. Hey, sometimes you've got to be a pro-rusher to be a winner.
Although he won’t share the secret ingredients, the Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft’s recipe for eluding an investigation pertaining to #Deflategate calls for a pinch of smugness and half a cup of being, like, pledge sisters with the head commissioner, Roger Goodell.
On the other hand, the Seahawks used to be the “I don’t know anyone in it, but I they’re getting better,” chapter. However, they have recruited solid pledge classes over the past few years and now they won’t shut up. The Seahawks are like the group of girls who Instagram the same picture with the caption “12th MAN!!” and proceed to share it on every social media platform, as if it is not already heavily exhausted.
The Seahawks also try to turn everything into a competition, especially the role call in the all-Panhellenic workweek gathering. Sure, Seahawks are talented and have made it into the realm of the top house, but the 12th man is like the double-legacy who makes everyone uncomfortable.
Tom Brady, Patriots. Tom is the sister who always holds a position and can do not wrong in the eyes of the alumni. Good looking and talented, Brady takes the podium with poise. This sister’s hair is always bouncy and everyone at media day wants to know just how she does it. “I worked hard on it today. I knew I’d be in front of all these cameras,” Brady gushes.
However, most other members of the chapter internalize a slight amount of disdain, rolling their eyes, as everyone knows Brady is totally full of it.
Julian Edelman, Patriots. This sister is the go-getter who takes advantage of alumni connections to build her social media brand. She always has an internship with one of the local marketing and public relations firms. Her snapchat stories are usually hilarious but make everyone cringe every once and a while.
Edelman’s resume is stacked with various media endorsements, one being his punt return wearing Google Glasses
Marshawn Lynch, Seahawks. Seattle's Marshawn Lynch represents the sister who doesn’t necessarily care to adhere to the ridiculous standard procedures enforced by executive officers. When noted of this sister’s repeated absence during workweek, the rest of the chapter can only speculate the enormous amount of fines she has stacked up.
After missing nearly an entire week of practice, presumably a year’s tuition worth of fines, she decides to make an appearance to satisfy standards. However, in a move of resilience this sister shows up wearing her sunglasses indoor, probably hungover and in the wrong workweek shirt.
The media, the regional advisors, pry for information during a mandatory, press conference, formal meeting. Sister Lynch's retorts “I'm here so I won't get fined," will most likely result in a call to standards.
Richard Sherman, Seahawks. From psychotic post-game rants to telling an ESPN reporter "I'm better at life than you," Richard Sherman has the NFL anxiously anticipating his next move. Likewise, there’s nothing like that sister with the rebellious energy who will undoubtedly stand up in the middle of formal chapter meeting to speak her mind on hypocritical policies.
When the chapter’s team of officers implement new rules without clear intentions, sister Sherman will rally her fellow seniors in debate of the issue. She may as well have been a chapter officer herself, but instead prefers to remain the notorious “Trash Talker of Truth."
As you revel over these teams performances going "beast mode" the Super Bowl Sunday competition of masculinity, remember: it's not so different from the break neck culture of sisterhood.
