What’s up with the stereotype that high school football players are ginormous, stupid, obnoxious jerks? I swear I don’t know how many stories I’ve read, movies I’ve watched, and people I’ve heard, depicting football players as that 6’3, 220 pound piece of homophobic, close-minded, got-everything-going-for-them mentality bully dressed in an extra-large letterman jacket. As a former high school football player myself, please allow me to say WE’RE NOT REALLY LIKE THAT. So whether it’s the media spreading exaggerated lies or people who see things only on the surface, here are the five most important points aimed at debunking false myths people hold towards high school football players:

Myth Number One: Football players are huge and their hugeness makes them confident.

Most high school football players you see in movies and read about in those coming-of-age stories are not the giants they’re portrayed as. Those “teenage” actors are really closer to 30 than they are to 17, and are probably cast to stress the fact to the audience that you’re looking at an athlete, and athletes are supposed to be ripped. If they’re not ripped, then the audience doesn’t buy into them being football players, right? Makes sense. If you, you know, believe that movies are realistic and everything.

Being freakishly huge in general does not equal a massive amount of confidence and self-esteem. In fact, people who work out a lot and get steroid-esq results are often times EXTREMELY insecure about something deep down, such as body image or lack of affection from others. I wish someone would make a movie about a troubled football player whose physique is smaller than say, the Hulk. That would be the most realistic teen football player character ever created. The bottom line: anyone and everyone is insecure about something; it’s how open people are about that insecurity that varies.

Myth Number Two: Cheerleaders.

We don’t date cheerleaders. Usually. Not so much a myth as much as something that we get asked about. Just like any other group of guys, we don’t restrict ourselves to our comfort zone, in this case, the confines of the stereotypes, when seeking out dating partners. We date girls who play other sports, who are dancers, who sing, who draw, who act, who play Monopoly, who eat peanut butter without jelly, and so forth.

Myth Number Three: Football players are not sensitive, empathetic people.

I was surrounded by incredibly caring players, who I credit a lot of my football success to. A team is a brotherhood, composed of unique individuals from different socioeconomic, racial, religious, and cultural backgrounds, who also desire the mutual goal of having a successful season. You get to know one another through this tough journey, see, and understand where people are coming from. You learn how people think and perceive various obstacles. You have your brothers’ backs when they’re feeling down on themselves. This benefit of playing football transcends the field as well, when interacting with friends, family, and people you meet. Football players do open up to each other about their struggles and conflicts, strengthening their bond, their passion for the game, and their chances of winning. So, perhaps I should clarify that this myth may actually hold true (for losing football teams).

Myth Number Four: Football players are only into football.

No we’re not. There are a lot of other pleasures in life we find satisfaction indulging ourselves in. Many football players play more sports. Some enjoy making short films, writing, helping others, and playing music. We like going out, going to concerts, and restaurants, playing games, and volunteering. Now, you have to be careful with your wording here too. If you want to be an outstanding player then you should only focus on football, but that relates to NFL players, whose lives revolve around football 24/7. Just like anything else, you have to focus most of your time excelling at that particular hobby in order to become very good at it.

Myth Number Five: Football players are not intelligent.

They say football is 80% mental and 40% physical. Do the math.Once again, human beings are surface thinkers. We look at something just briefly before fully deciding what it is like, or rather, what it appears to be. Football players don’t just smash heads and hit the living snot out of each other. It takes a smart quarterback to read defenses, demonstrate pocket awareness, and exemplify his knowledge pertaining to the x’s and o’s to keep running back to gauge running lanes and openings in different defenses. It takes smarts to be a conscious receiver, and to know how many steps each pattern requires, and an intuitive linebacker needs to recognize the pass versus run, a studious kicker to maintain precision and accuracy, and a sense of field distance to the goal post, and of course, a mindful team as a whole needs to be totally aware of chemistry and strengths. In fact, I had my best grades usually in the fall quarter, because my focus on the game carried over into the classroom.

Football players aren’t saints, but who is? Hopefully my thoughts have inspired reflection on what the media and stories try to tell you about football players. I’m sorry if anyone has ever been hurt by a football player. I also hope you don’t associate their jerkiness solely with their being a football player. Any kind of person can be annoying or inflict pain. Getting to know different kinds of people in person allows you to understand how people function, thus helping you identify and benefit yourself.