Self-love appears to be all the rage in modern media, but it is not something that comes naturally to most, at least, not in my experience. In theory, it should be simple because we live in a society where we all love to talk about ourselves and our opinions all the time. So what causes our struggles and trials in our attempts to learn to appreciate ourselves as we are?

This concept is so difficult to us in part because we all are incredibly harsh critics of ourselves because we are so devoted to staring at ourselves through our camera lenses or in the mirror and judging every detail of our performances in life as needing improvement.

This is also of course because our society emphasizes a comparative and competitive lifestyle in a way that is unhealthy because the comparisons are nearly all based on stoic athleticism or physical attractiveness, and the appearances we are all comparing/competing with are on computer screens, meaning they’ve been altered/tampered with in more ways than you can imagine. In reality, much of what makes self-love difficult stems from insecurity and our self-obsessed culture that expects us to all be flawless constantly when that is not how human beings operate.

If you cannot seem to grasp self-love, ponder the root cause of your insecurity. If you are a teenager or young adult, it might be that you are in a place where you are unsure of yourself/do not quite know which direction life is taking you in or that you have acne or some other hormone-induced flaw that you are still slowly recovering from. If you are a middle-aged adult, perhaps it stems from a comparison between yourself and others your age where you feel as though you are not where you wanted to be or where you assumed you would be at this point and you are beating yourself down about your self-proclaimed lack of achievements or you are simply lost again.

There is a multitude of facets of the world surrounding us that may influence our views and perspectives regarding any subject matter: your profession, political or religious views, world/societal understanding, etc… and you as a person also have your rationale almost pre-prescribed by your environment. Once you’ve pinpointed what the issue you feel inclined to have with yourself is, bear in mind that there is no real issue, you are perfectly imperfect in every way imaginable, that is what makes you beautiful and wonderful, and that is what makes you human.

Don’t be afraid to begin implementing time to just be with yourself and your thoughts, away from the chaos of social interactions, into your daily routine, some alone time is a reward and it can be a time to remind yourself of all that is good about you.

The sooner you recognize why you think what you think, the sooner you learn how to appreciate what makes you - recognizing and acknowledging your own worth is self-love. There is no need to be hesitant to be confident because you are confident and proud of who you are, it isn’t arrogance unless you are boasting about it to other people or claiming that you are any more worthy or attractive or <insert adjective here> than anyone else.

If you get stuck along the way, motivational quotes from Pinterest might do the trick for awhile, but eventually, you will find yourself needing to confront whatever has been weighing you down, and you will be thrilled and relieved in indescribable ways once you do. Stay strong and remember that self-doubt is natural, it’s a part of this crazy world, be weary always so as not to permit self-doubt to spiral into self-hate/loathing.