All my life I have always been bigger than my peers.
When you are younger it's not as noticeable and it's easier to ignore.
As a kid I was always happy and never let anyone's comments get to me. My dad said he loved my love for life and carefree attitude. I loved it too, but not noticing that your body is way different than what society accepts can only last so long. Soon I started to notice things people would say and that all my friends were skinnier than me. My love for life diminished a little bit. I no longer was carefree, I cared how people viewed me and I constantly compared myself to others, to this day I still do. It's hard struggling with body image. It's extremely hard even articulating my own thoughts over this subject matter right now, but I will try as hard as I can to do so.
As I previously said I have struggled with my own body image for a long time now. I think I started to become aware of it around the last year or so of elementary school. Ever since then it has gotten worse and even now I still hate my body. I used to hate myself altogether and want to be anyone but me but throughout the last couple of years, I have come to begin liking my own personality but still hating my body.
Every girl has something they hate about their body and they see their flaws. No matter how many times we hear someone say we are beautiful, we still have parts of ourself we hate. I myself always have an inner battle regarding myself and my body image. Struggling with your body image is so much more than just thinking you are ugly.
For me, it's thinking every girl I see is prettier than me and that no one could ever love me.
It's having to tell myself I'm not worthless and disgusting, even when every time I look at myself I have the urge to think just that. It's knowing I need to lose weight and trying, but ultimately giving up and hating myself for that too. It's looking at my sisters-in-law, friends, and even the celebrities I love and want to just look like them or be them. It's trying to love myself despite hating so many things about me now. This is just a glimpse into what the internal battle in my head looks like.
I have a long road to loving myself and overcoming my body image issues. I am constantly trying to progress on my journey towards self-love every day. I encourage anyone who is struggling with self-love to just take small baby steps every day. Start with a compliment to yourself every morning or sticky notes on your mirror. Just do something that helps every day so that you can progress on your journey as well.
Remember you are all beautiful and important even when you think you're not.