This Is What my Body image struggle feels like

This Is What my Body image struggle feels like

For those who have never struggled, here's a look inside how it feels.

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Negative body image, or body dysmorphia, are large components of people who struggle with eating disorders.

However, there are MANY people who struggle with their body image and don't have eating disorders, or even mental illnesses. For those men and women who constantly struggle to feel at home in their body, I empathize so strongly with you.

I was talking about this with my boyfriend recently, who said something like, "as someone who's never struggled with body image, I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I can't say I understand it."

So, in an attempt to be vulnerable and hopefully resonate with those suffering, here is what having a bad body image or body dysmorphia feels like on a daily basis:

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It feels like waking up and being disappointed that your body still looks and feels the way it did when you went to sleep.

It feels like your body can change drastically from day to day, or hour to hour. Sometimes you'll feel maybe alright, and the next you feel like someone inflated you with an air pump and there's no way that this is your body.

Bad body image makes your clothes fit differently than they did the day before, with no rhyme or reason, beyond how your brain is telling you to feel that day.

It means that you walk into a crowded place and you feel like everyone is horrified to see you, that they can't stop staring, and that every single person is judging the way you look.

It's a constant nagging, of feeling so uncomfortable, that you can't focus on anything else that's going on, the situation, or your friends and family.

It's always having to check your appearance in a mirror, windows of a building, or your phone to ensure that you're looking the same throughout the day, and not like the monster your mind convinces you that you are.

It's hating to do the wash, just in case something "shrinks" and your brain has another reason to tell you how disgusting you are if something fits a little differently while it's fresh out of the laundry.

It's a deep, clawing feeling, where you would rather rip your skin off than be out and about in your body.

It's increased anxiety and depression and isolation, as staying at home is easier than being out in public and having to feel like this.

Bad body image convinces you that it's a wonderful idea to wear long sleeves and pants or some combination of the two in the summer, despite the heat, because people would rather have you be hot than see your body.

It feels like a constant sense of unease that you can never truly be comfortable with who you are and how you look.

It's an acknowledgment of the other parts of yourself, but none of them seeming quite as important as your physical appearance.

It's a feeling of wanting to simply exist without a body, just your soul because then finally, maybe, you'd be comfortable.

Cover Image Credit:

Charlotte Kurz

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Your Sexual Comment About My Body Really Isn't A Compliment, I Would Appreciate If You Stopped

I am human and I demand respect over my body.

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I was 12 the first time a boy said: "you got a nice ass." I was taken back. What did you just say to me? Back then I wasn't as strong in knowing who I was/am. That comment stuck with me for a while. I recently thought about it. I realize now what that comment really was. While a boy thought it was a compliment, it wasn't. It was the start of harassment that boys are never told is wrong. Therefore, they continue to do it.

When I think about that comment from junior high, I think about the junior high students I know. I think about how upset I would be if one of the boys said that. I think about how much I would want to hug and remind the girl of who she really is. You see, these "compliments" start at a young age. Girls figure it means the boy likes her. They assume that he'll be different when they're dating. I beg to differ. It will get so much worse.

Some boys and men only see women as objects. They only see her as a thing of pleasure. They don't see the beauty that is in her personality. They don't stop to think about how intelligent she is. They skip over the fact of her being a human. It truly breaks my heart.

I keep going back to the first time a boy touched my butt, and how violated I felt. I told my teacher, and they did nothing about it. They said, "Oh, well he's a boy!!" WHAT. No, I am human and I demand respect over my body. When that boy touched my body when I never asked him to, I wanted to hide. I was not "turned on" by it like he thought I would be. I was not OK with it. And all I got was a form of "it's what boys do."

Your compliment about my body isn't a compliment. I am uncomfortable with it. I don't want to hear about how much you love my butt. Your compliment about my body has led me to be nervous around guys who have any sort of interest in me because I think they are only interested in what you once told me.

I am here to stand up for myself, finally, and other girls and women who are scared. I was once scared, but not anymore. I don't want to hear or read your pick up lines you think will flatter me. I want you to respect who I am. I want you to know I am not flattered by those gross comments about my body. I am here to stand up for those who are scared to be loud. That was once me, but not anymore.

Your compliments are not compliments. I am ready to see a change in our world. I am ready for your gross comments to stop. I am sick of seeing and hearing the same thing over and over again. I am more than a body. I am a human. I have a personality that I would love for you to get to know, but your pick-up lines are insulting. I would appreciate if you stopped.

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