Going from putting on a façade throughout the 9-5 work day to hunch over in fetal position at 3 a.m., heart beating out of your chest and frantically gasping to catch your breath. That’s anxiety.
It’s that incredibly tight feeling in your chest. The constant worrying about whether you should do something as simple as applying to that new job. It’s that, “Did I lock my car door?”, after you’ve already walked all the way into your apartment because even though it was less than five minutes ago you can’t seem to remember if you hit that lock button. It’s then worrying about it for the rest of the night. It’s the staying up most of the night, thoughts racing, heart pounding, downward spiral that takes away your opportunity to sleep.
Clinging to dark quotes makes it easier to relate to, listening to relatable music helps but talking about it is rare. “What’s wrong with me?” is something that you frequently ask yourself. Your mind switches back and forth constantly putting on slideshow all the negative things that have ever happened.
It sneaks up on you, “Remember that time when you didn’t land that interview 3 years ago? Maybe if you would have just prepared better...” during a night out with friends that you’re finally enjoying.
Feeling like you won’t ever get out of the rut you’re in is a constant emotion. Feeling stuck in the same place watching everyone’s successes. Feeling like you’re a burden. Knowing you can’t control how you’re feeling and knowing no one will understand why you feel the way you do.
“Don’t worry. Why are you worrying? You’re being crazy. Stop overreacting.”
Wanting to scream, if I could stop worrying, don’t you think I would have already? Days are better than others and people assume that it’s over. You were just being irrational because you were up all night working on that presentation that you foolishly procrastinated doing.
Not knowing, the presentation was finished days ago and you were actually up all night worrying about what everyone was thinking when you didn’t show up to work that one time, “What if they don’t believe I was actually sick?”
Feeling like you’re drowning but you’re nowhere near a body of water.
Mind games and constant chaos.
To the person struggling with anxiety: You are stronger than this. You are not broken. You are not alone. Your anxiety does not define you.
To the family, friend, or partner of a person who struggles with anxiety: Listen carefully. Be actively aware. Be present.
To the anxiety: You will not define me because I am stronger than this.
#MentalHealthAwareness
