When I was in 8th grade, a class full of unfamiliar students took one look at me and asked why I wasn’t leaving early with the 7th graders. The next year, some new neighbors asked what middle school I attended. As a sophomore and junior, fellow students frequently confused me for a freshman. I thought the worst had come when I got all dressed up for my first day of senior year, feeling gorgeous, and multiple people commented on how I looked like a freshman.
It wasn’t the worst. The next summer, when I was working at a grocery store, customers would gasp when they found out I wasn’t 14 or 15. Just a few months ago an ice rink employee almost didn’t let me into the building unaccompanied because she wasn’t sure I was 13 or older. I am a legal adult — old enough to die for my country and receive the death penalty — and I am still being questioned as to whether I’ve completed elementary school.
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This constant bombarding of “you look so young” comments has created in me a bit of an obsession with age. I can’t go out without looking around and noticing how my peers don’t look as though they’re lost junior high kids in a Walmart, and how men look right past me to flirt with the girl who looks legal.
If you also look much younger than you are, I want you to know that I understand. I understand how irritating it is to be talked to like a young child in a professional setting because of your youthful appearance. I understand the insecurity of wondering if you’ll ever find a relationship because people think you’re a minor. I understand how “you’ll appreciate it in 30 years” doesn’t change the reality of it not being so great right now. I understand how very much you want to be called beautiful or gorgeous rather than cute or adorable, and I understand how hard it can be to even feel beautiful when you look too young to be.
The one lesson I’ve learned from looking like a young adolescent is that we have a greater opportunity to prove our maturity in other ways. Depending on how we carry ourselves, we can compensate for our lack of adulthood in appearance with a sort of adulthood in mannerism. We can surprise others with our vocabulary, with our poise, with our ability to carry ourselves with tact and professionalism. Behavior, I’ve learned, can add years onto a baby face.
I can’t say it’s a blessing to look young — at least, not in the near future for most of us — but it can be a deep learning experience. We know not to comment on someone’s age because we know how degrading it feels when it’s done to us. We have an awareness that nobody is quite how they seem, and perhaps “looking” a certain age is all subjective anyway.
So, fellow young-looking individuals, stand up a little straighter. Hold your head a little higher, put on those heels, and tell yourself you’re gorgeous. Your worth doesn’t come from how old or how young you look, but from who you are as a person. Nobody can ever take that away from you.
And, as I’m sure you know by now, make sure to keep your I.D. with you at all times.
