My biggest regret so far in life has probably been not taking driver’s ed when my high school offered it. The course was on the pricey side, conflicted with the one club I participated in at school, and frankly, seemed pretty boring. Living in a small town where everything was accessible by foot, driving was not a priority for me. I’d never been excited about getting licensed and having a car. While most people ran out on their sixteenth birthday to take their permit test, I lazed around happily at home watching Netflix, and the reality of my mistake didn’t hit me until I flew the nest to college and realized just how trapped I was.

For one thing, it sucks to “enter the real world” and yet not be able to explore it. I was restrained to my campus with nothing but a couple of fast food places and seedy bars within walking distance. Even grocery shopping with the campus shuttle wasn’t that convenient – it only runs on the weekends, often is packed, and takes a lot longer to get to the destination because it stops at so many places. I didn’t realize until I drove once with my mom that Target is a mere two minutes from school, not half an hour!

Without a car, I was stuck. If I got sick, I had to snivel away in my dorm because taking a cab to a doctor was too expensive. If I ran out of snacks on Tuesday and couldn’t afford to dig deep into my meal plan, I’d just have to stay pretty hungry until the shopping shuttle ran on Saturday. If I wanted to visit my boyfriend a town over, I couldn’t. Moving was also incredibly frustrating, because if I’d had my own car, I could carry my stuff back and forth on my own without having my parents give up an entire day to cram all my belongings into two cars and then successively bring more in other visits.

I did get my permit after my eighteenth birthday, but at that point I had two months to practice behind the wheel before I went to college, and while I was there, I had no parent or car with which to practice, so there would be long intervals during which I’d get rusty on my driving skills, then be home for break and get back into it, and then be whisked away again. I grew gradually more hopeless, believing I’d never have enough continuous time to get good enough for my road test.

This summer, my parents were both working full time and I also had a job, but I insisted in squeezing in half an hour to two hours of practice any possible evening. I was so nervous being behind the wheel – what if I tried to switch lanes and someone wouldn’t let me? What if I got to a light a couple of seconds after it turned yellow – should I slow down or whizz by? What if I tried to turn and got stuck in an intersection? What if I bumped a car while trying to park? A lot of panicky thoughts raced through my mind, and the problem with panic is that it makes you a bad driver.

By the time I went for my first road test this August, I felt absolutely sick. I knew failing wasn’t a big deal and I could take the test again, and I needed to feel safe driving anyway, but I sat in the car jittery, taking rapid breaths, tapping my fingers on the wheel, suddenly forgetting all the rules of the road. In the end, my driving anxiety got the best of me and I failed about a minute in when my brain shut off and I made a stupid mistake. I was less disappointed in messing up than I was at the fact that college was a week away and there were no available road test appointments for another month. I felt my license slipping further out of reach.

Back at college (my junior year already), my mom was gracious enough to come down to my campus sometimes and take me practice driving (Long Island is so scary for a driving student with so much anxiety!). We found a town a few hours upstate that offered tests on the one day I don’t have classes, and today we rose early and made our way up. It was raining, which was unfortunately something I hadn’t had practice with (somehow just always sunny weather for me), I had a bad cold that left me teary-eyed and quite groggy, and I was still far from an adequate parallel parker, but I crossed my fingers that the rest of the test would go well enough that I could stand a chance.

Fortunately for me, I was gifted with a nice and understanding instructor who allowed me three whole chances to parallel park. I didn’t rock either of them, but at least the final one left me parallel to the curb, if three feet away. My heart was pounding in my chest as we pulled over and she handed me a receipt: I had passed by a margin, but at last, I was a licensed driver.

I’ve yet to own a car and get insurance, but I’m so relieved to put this behind me. I wish it hadn’t taken me this long, but remember that everyone moves at their own pace, and I think I wouldn’t have been ready to hit the road much earlier. I definitely recognize that I need a lot of improvement, and I’ll still be practicing in the company of my parents when possible, but I did it, and I’m proud of myself for finally reaching this milestone and moving up in the world.

It’s really amazing how much of an impact a driver’s license (or lack thereof) has on your life. I know a lot of other people in college who are still working towards their road test, and I wish them the best of luck. Put in the hours and remember that it’s more important to be safe and cautious while driving than to rush to get your license if you’re not really prepared for that responsibility. It’s a vital skill, hard work, and worth it. Drive safe!