If I said “I’m sick,” what would you picture? Most likely it's different from the reality. I’m not physically ill. I do not have limited mobility or any other sickness you can see walking passed me on the street. I have mental illness. In this day and age, there is so much stigma around having mental illnesses that talking about it is almost unheard of. This brings up a question for those of us with mental illness beginning college, a place that is difficult to adjust to for those without it, “how am I possibly going to get through this?” Coming out of my freshman year, I can tell you it wasn’t easy figuring everything out (and I am definitely not done!), but there are a few things that changed the entirety of my first year of college.
4. Discuss Your Illness with Professors
You can't expect professors to be mind readers. Well, you can't expect anyone to be a mind reader. Especially with illnesses that are invisible, like mental illnesses, it is not always clear to the professors what you want or need. Each semester, I sent an email to each of my professors stating that I had a mental illness, and it could affect me in a few ways, along with giving them a way to contact me and opening up the forum for discussion about what that means for my work in and out of class. Often times, the professors are grateful that you talked to them, even if there are things that are out of their control.
3. Talk to Disability Services
For the things that the professors deem "out of their control," and/or "unable to change," there is an office at almost all, if not all, colleges to help with this. At my college, they were able to give me some accommodations that make college more accessible to me, such as absence policy adjustments, notes available online, and the ability to record lectures. These don't give me an upper hand, they just take some of the extra weight added by my illnesses lesser. This office is more than likely able to help you in some way make college bearable.
2. Surround Yourself with People Who Care About You
It's not as easy as it sounds. You will encounter people who see your illness as "fake," or as "a cry for attention." You will encounter people who really do want to be your friend, but they are not in a place where they can support themselves and you and everyone else. You will encounter people that say they will be there, and then when you have an episode or relapse they decide it's too much for them. But, in all of this, you will encounter people who will be there to laugh and eat Chinese food with at 3am, but who also will sit with you and comfort you during an episode. Those are the people who you want to surround yourself with.
1. Remember It's Okay to Not Be Okay
I know this sounds cliché, but it is the most important thing I've learned. When I first arrived at college, I had the usual "fake it until you make it," mantra. This had me bottling up my feelings, not talking about anything, and smiling when I knew I didn't feel happy. On the road to accepting yourself, there is a point where you realize that no one benefits from "fake it until you make it." Whether you admit this to yourself, or to others, it really is okay to not be okay.
I want to leave you with this. If you are struggling, know someone who is struggling, or just care about those who are, please remember to keep a place in your heart for yourself. When all else fails, you can fall back on that little part of you that you kept free for yourself. Oh, and talk about it. Talk about mental illness. Talk about your feelings and investigate their origins. Try to make people see that just because you can't see my illness when you pass me in the street, doesn't mean it doesn't affect the way I live my life.
Stay strong.
