I don't think being a single mom is ever anyone's original plan. Like greatness, it's thrust upon you. You can either rise to the challenge or collapse under the pressure. Mine rose far above the challenge, so Happy early Mother's Day to all the mothers who also get to celebrate Father's Day and do an awesome job at both. Here are just a few of the things that you've taught us.
1. You are complete.
The saying you complete me is stupid. You were a whole person before they came along, and you will be a whole person when they're gone, whether that's 20 days from now or 20 years from now.
2. Help family.
Step up. Do your part to help out the people you love. Kids, step up and unload the dishwasher, take your siblings to practice, cook dinner, something. The house is a well-oiled machine and everyone needs to do their part to keep it running smoothly.
3. Help others.
When you see someone having a rough day, smile at them. You never know what someone is going through. Go out of your way to do something nice for someone at least once a week and see how you end up feeling about it.
4. Respect yourself and don't accept anything else from others.
If someone doesn't treat you with the same respect you treat them, they are a toxic person in your life. It doesn't matter if this person is your elder, your spouse, your family, or a friend. Know the respect you deserve and don't take anything less, even if that means you have to cut a few people out of your life.
5. Don't expect the movie love.
The movies don't show you the first time she burns dinner to a crisp or he comes home late. It doesn't show you when they're up to their ears in dirty diapers and laundry and day-to-day struggles. Yes, he should give you butterflies, but if they go away for a while, that's okay too.
6. It's okay to be single.
I personally refuse to download Tinder. First, because guys feel like they can say anything they want to from behind a screen and that's creepy. Second, because I watched way too many crime shows with my mom growing up and meeting someone from online majorly creeps me out. Third, because I don't have to. I can be single. I'm in college. I'm busy with my schoolwork and volunteering and figuring out the rest of my life and who I am. I don't want my identity to be wrapped up in a guy, and that's okay.
7. We don't have any cheese to go with your whine so put a cork in it.
This was always one of her favorite sayings. There is a time to feel sorry for yourself and throw a pity party but there is also a time to put on your big kid pants and do what you have to do. All your problems will be there when you finish crying, and you'll have a headache on top of that, so take 2 Ibuprofen and a nap. You've got stuff to do.
8. Have goals, not dreams.
Dreams may or may not come true. Goals mean that you have an end result in mind and you are putting in actions to reach that goal. Dreams are what fairy tales are made of. Goals are everyday realities that you can check off your to-do list. I'd rather have goals than dreams any day.
9. Money can only give you so much.
Don't get me wrong, money is a very nice thing to have. It doesn't, however, replace the times with your family sitting around laughing about something incredibly stupid, like the time your brother Flex Sealed a spider to death because he couldn't find the broom fast enough. Money can't buy time, and it can't buy the type of friends you want.
10. Always say, "Thank you."
When someone helps you, whether that's holding a door or changing your life, always say "Thank You." This is my thank you to a wonderful woman who has raised me to be the woman I am today. She continues to be my best friend, my biggest ally, and the greatest role model. Happy Mother's Day.
