I spent a majority of my college process ignoring what everyone else told me, which was for the most part "you will end up where you are supposed to be". I have always felt that you only get things in life by working for them and that success is not a result of destiny or fate but rather your own hard work, motivation, and effort. Naturally, I wholeheartedly believed that success in the college process was marked by doing everything right to get into the best school for what your ideal career path is, or rather your "dream" school.
I struggled to get through my senior year with a heavy workload in school, a crazy extracurricular schedule and applying to too many colleges all with complicated admission processes. I didn't take time for myself and I wasn't healthy physically or mentally because of how hard I was pushing myself. Separate from my schedule, I was putting a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to always perform at my best. The irony of my upbringing is that my parents always said my best was enough and they never put pressure on me to meet their expectations, but I was hard enough on myself to account for multiple sets of parents. I have a perfectionist personality to the point where I find mistakes in all that I do, not allowing myself to get a break or even considering failure as an option.
As luck would have it, I didn't get into my dream schools. The programs that I dreamed about for all of high school and where I envisioned myself didn't accept me and it left me completely devastated. The societal pressure surrounding attending a prestigious university is absolutely overwhelming, especially where I grew up in in the Northeast. I watched my friends plan their college career at incredible institutions that they had dreamed of attending, while I delayed making my college decision for fear of committing to a school I didn't like.
Quite honestly, I wasn't even sure about my college decision when I made it, and I spent the whole summer second guessing every choice about my college process. The amazing thing was, the second I stepped onto campus I saw every indication that this was where I was meant to be. The culture of the University is so in tune with my own values and opinions that I feel right at home each time I hear about the intent to represent and expect diversity that exists within the institution I am so lucky to attend. I fell in love with the program I'm enrolled in and came to realize that it fits my career goals more than the programs I considered my "dream" schools.
I know it seems cliche and I think I've only begun to accept things the way they are and look at my silver linings, but everything does happen for a reason and I truly did end up where I was supposed to be. Despite my frustration, the colleges I applied to knew better than I did what I needed for the next four years. I learned more through my experiences senior year than I ever would have if things had gone my way and I'm tremendously proud of the personal development I achieved this year as well as my emotional well-being as I enter my new life in college.
