I never wanted to be a person that is always stressed out and always worrying about what will happen weeks from now. I know it is all pointless and unnecessary. I understand what little control I have over situations, so why am I so stressed all the time? It's a battle between expecting too much from myself and not expecting enough sometimes. Am I making myself proud? Am I being the best version of myself? Where can I improve? I am constantly thinking of the future, which is a blessing and a curse. I think through my decisions, but at the same time, I worry too much about what could happen. As many times as I tell myself and tell others to take life one day at a time, I can’t help but try to cross my bridges before I get to them. That is if I ever get to them.
I know I sound like a broken record player, always writing about living in the moment and whatnot, but I think the reason I keep revisiting this topic is because I continue to struggle with it, and think maybe other people are struggling, too.
When I have a lot of big things happening, I tend to direct my attention to the small things, almost searching for something else to stress me out. College is a stressful time. While I should be worried about my grades, finding and internship, and other ways to build my future, I find myself having a meltdown about what I am going to do about a meeting in 3 weeks. I don't quite understand this, but I think it is to relieve the stress from the big events and find irrelevant things to push me over the edge. I know, I sound ridiculous.
However, I wish I would just learn my lesson to let things happen as they should because they truly always work out. Stress is a thief of joy. I shouldn't let myself get consumed by it. If something is going to go wrong, it is going to go wrong regardless of how many details I plan out in my head, and the same goes for things that go right. I have a habit of making a big deal out of everything when very few things are actually big deals. I waste my energy on irrelevant mishaps when I could be radiating the energy that comes from the positive things in my life. I am so fortunate. I have so many opportunities and people in my life, I should not let stress take that away from me. It's time to snap out of it.
You are who you are and where you are for a reason. Be the best version of yourself. Live in the stressful situations and learn how to handle them. Don’t cross your bridges before you get to them, some people spend their whole lives defeating themselves worrying about something they never get to,
