This week has been one of the most stressful weeks of my life. Without going into details, I found myself in the local police interrogation room with a police officer shouting at me. Furthermore, my fraternity has had a week-long philanthropy event which has demanded my near constant attention, followed by a Halloween party which is going on as I type this (security shift can be nasty). Most importantly, my girlfriend's birthday was Thursday. Needless to say, I have had an incredibly stressful week with very few pauses to rest. I am a guy who generally avoids stress at all costs, often sacrificing success for happiness. Perhaps a poor life philosophy, but I figure very little matters in the end so I'm just trying to be happy.
When I find myself under great stress my brain is a million thoughts a minute, I cannot stop racing through my thoughts and I fail to focus on any one thing. No doubt I performed poorly on a few tests this week. I missed some classes, I made plenty of mistakes, and I generally was not the man I could be. Such a detrimental mentality can send me spiraling into a repeating pattern of what seems like bad luck, nothing but bad things coming my way. In addition to all the unfortunate events I listed above, I happened to earn myself a parking ticket courtesy of my school for being parked in the wrong lot for under an hour while visiting my girlfriend. "Sh** icing on the sh** cake" I thought, wondering if my luck could get any worse. But if there's one thing I've learned, it can always be worse.
All week I couldn't help but think of my girlfirend's birthday. I knew the hard times were here to stay, and I would be damned if I would let my stress affect her day. That's the thing, really, you can't let stress from one aspect of your life affect all aspects of your life. To let one thing affect everything will only perpetuate the cycle of stress. You are ultimately in charge of your own happiness, and I do truly believe that. My girlfriend is really and truly special to me, and without getting too sappy about our relationship, she really is a positive factor in my life. She motivates me to be a better person while accepting me for who I am, supporting me in everything I do. By nature I want to question why she's with me, asking what I have done to deserve her. When I walk this line of questioning I reach the conclusion that I really don't deserve her. Truly, like everything else, her liking me is a random anamoly of life. Instead of questioning why I'm so lucky I simply accept it and enjoy it.
The same thing goes for the stressful times. I choose not to ask why me, instead taking it in stride and moving on. Today is a day, tomorrow is another day. You have to get through it, and not question the randomness of the unverse. For better or worse, it is what it is. Life goes on and you will too, so endure. After all, there is no direction but forward.
