Trapped in a bubble of his own pessimistic thoughts, he continued to wonder what was wrong with him as he watched and listened to the taunting ease at which conversations around him were held. Wonder is the wrong word, in fact, as that implies a sense of constructive curiosity. He continued to question his social skills, and why it was that he was so lacking in them. His mind raced a million miles an hour; his feet were frozen to the floor.

The deafening music made it that much harder for him to interpret the conversation that was occurring next to him, between a guy that he kind of knew and a complete stranger. Unable to provide any sort of input, he found it within himself to walk over to the guy that he kind of knew. Unfortunately, the subject of conversation was completely foreign to him — he didn’t know the difference between a Green Bay Packer and a backpack. Thus, he proceeded to silently stand there. He grew ever more anxious as each minute passed, feeling invisible to the two people who were engrossed in this conversation about women and sports. Then, he began to fantasize about lying in bed and just listening to music. He began to fantasize about being anywhere but in this lounge. He became so engrossed in his own doubt that when he heard his name, he was caught completely off guard and out of context.

A tap on the back of his right shoulder prompted a swift 180 degree turn around, where he was greeted by the girl in his science class, whom he regularly fantasized about.

“What’s up?” she said. (A common greeting, not to be taken literally in most circumstances.)

His mind went completely blank, almost as if he had forgotten the English language. He could feel himself start to blush, so he darted his eyes around the room, in a desperate hope to find something, anything to talk about. “Not much… the roof I guess,” he squeaked.

Absolutely appalled with his own response, he hastily leaves the building, in pursuit of solitude and his own bed.

He soon found that the manifestation of his fantasy was, in fact, very underwhelming, when he was snuggled up in bed listening to Iron Maiden. The relief and joy that he envisioned was not quite as sweet as predicted. It was more of an overwhelming sense of failure and self-doubt, that he could not help but entirely consume himself in.