If you're like me, then you don't fat shame people. You proclaim over and over that health is determined by so much more than weight. You've heard that every body is beautiful, and you believe it.
Except when it comes to your body. You know that you should love it (you really want to love it), but you can't yet. You'll start to eventually - after you lose five pounds, or start seeing abs, or go down a size.
That has been my thought process for longer than I can remember. I believe everyone should love themselves exactly as they are but never let that apply to myself. Recently, I've been able to take a step back and realize how ridiculous that is. Why am I wasting so much time criticizing my body when I could start loving it right now? Why am I saving all of the benefits of enjoying being in my own skin for some future date?
The more I've thought about it, the more I see that there's no reason to hold off on self-love. First of all, the future body that you're waiting to have may never become a reality. There's genetics involved, and the effort required to look like a post from a fitspo Tumblr page is grueling. (There's a reason modeling is a full-time job.) If you tried hard enough, maybe you could look like an entirely new person, but you'd almost have to become an entirely new person in the process. And even if you decided to quit school, ditch your friends, and reject chocolate for the foreseeable future to adopt a life of constant workouts and strict dieting, your body still might not obey. More and more evidence suggests that everyone's body reacts differently to the same foods because of our genes, so a diet of widely-recognized healthy foods might not guarantee change.
And besides, isn't the point of loving your body to make your life as you already live it more enjoyable?
Additionally, just because someone doesn't have washboard abs doesn't mean they're not healthy. Health apps like My Fitness Pal and fitness blogs are constantly reminding us to focus on signs of progress other than weight loss (and just look at how many results pop up for a Google search of "health not weight"). And who can forget the internet famous image of all the different body types of Olympic athletes?
Even if your weight were unhealthy, that's still no reason for you to hate your body. Studies show that young adults with a positive body image gained less weight than their peers who had negative body images, and others reveal that women who felt accepted by their loved ones are more likely to lose weight. So, even if you do want to change your body, the best way to start is to love it now!
Of course, seeing and understanding the mounting evidence for body positivity does not automatically create body positivity. I'm still working on making the transition from theory into practice. How can we go about it?
Luckily, there are many sources online (and doubtless thousands of books and articles) that outline tips for cultivating a positive body image. Those kinds of bullted lists can seem both academic and daunting. It seems difficult, if not impossible, to incorporate everything into your life and do it right away. They're a good start, but I've found that the most progress I've made has come from small moments rather than these New Year's Resolution-style goals.
For example, I recently went up a pants size. While part of me wanted to feel guilty about it and strive to go back down to what I wore before, I told myself to be forgiving. My size was not a crime, and besides, my new jeans fit more comfortably than before. I actually felt better, and, dare I say it, looked better in clothes that fit me right.
I'm also working on stopping the narrative that surrounds unhealthy foods - thinking a cookie is "bad" or that having a snack is something to feel guilty about doesn't help anything. Cookies taste good! Why shouldn't we be happy to eat them every now and again?
And that popular, somewhat embarrassing tip to say something nice about yourself whenever you look in the mirror? Let me just say, when you get over the ridiculous feeling of talking to yourself and let a compliment slip, it actually works.
Do I love my body wholeheartedly? Honestly, not yet. But I'm done waiting, and I hope that you are, too.
