It seems to happen at some point in most sports movies. The team, down on their luck, struggling to convert a pass or score a goal or generally succeed, sits dejected in the locker room at halftime. The coach storms in to rouse the rabble, to deliver a speech that will inspire his athletes to victory. If he’s particularly showy, he might even throw a helmet against the wall or tip over the table that’s crowded with paper Dixie cups full of water. In his speech, he’ll talk about the nobility of trying your hardest, the good fight that demands all of your energy and sweat. He’ll probably tell his players to leave it all on the field or ice or court. But before he does all that, he’ll look around at his failing team, sneer, and say derisively, “Listen up ladies.” Or maybe he’ll say something like, “You’re all playing like a bunch of girls!”
And it’s at that point that they lose me. I’ve seen my fair share -- and more -- of sports movies, and I don’t mind them. Some I even like: “Miracle” and “Remember The Titans” never fail to entertain. But I never like that part of the movie. Most coach speeches at this point are so clichéd that you can throw out some random, vaguely inspirational sounding words and still be right on the money. But forget about that, because there’s a bigger problem, and it’s the casual way coaches use the words “girl” and “ladies” to insult their team, to tell them they’re doing a bad job.
This is nothing new. Somehow, the female gender, that so called “weaker sex” has become an insult for those who wish to inspire student athletes to greatness, because God forbid the JV squad should do badly. We are men and we are strong and tough, and you know that we are because we run fast and smash into things. When we’re amped up, we yell a lot and head-butt each other. And the greatest insult you could possibly throw at us is to compare us to girls.
Honestly, it’s a stupid insult. Part of that is just predicated on basic human decency: don’t use offensive stereotypes about one entire group of people as a means of insulting another group to inspire them to greatness. For instance, if a teacher walked into a room full of AP math students and told them they’d better ace their test like a bunch of Asians, everyone would be rightly offended by stereotyping en masse. It’s just impossible to take an entire group of people who have one thing in common and say they are all like each other. Human beings are just too complex for that to be true.
The other reason this phrase needs to be retired is this: ladies, girls, women, people of the female persuasion -- we’re not weak. In fact, we’re incredibly strong and tough. Women face a bombardment of emotional pressure daily, as culture demands that they be skinny, beautifully made up, perfectly turned out. They should also be sweet, smile more, be outgoing, but not too outgoing (if you know what I mean) smart, but not in a threatening way. They should look great, but not the kind of great where they put too much effort into it, because nobody likes a try hard. Facing this sort of pressure demands emotional and mental strength of an incredibly high caliber.
Aside from all of that, we women have the capacity to give life. It’s the most impressive and awesome (in the traditional sense of the word) ability there is. Just think about the kind of strength it takes to sustain and carry around another human for nine months and then physically push them out of your body. It demands a level of sacrifice above and beyond anything else. It’s painful, exhausting, grueling -- and powerful.
Football season is just over four months. Hockey and baseball run for seven, and basketball for six, unless you make the playoffs. Women will carry their baby for nine months, nurturing and creating an entire other life. They may even do so more than once. Sure, the championship ring is shiny, the trophies and cups are enormous and you can drink champagne from them. But let’s not pretend that these things definitively prove the mettle of a man. There are no trophies for women who simply live their lives, functioning and achieving and excelling despite enormous pressure and twice the work. At least, there aren’t any yet.
So stop calling men “ladies” and “girls” when you want to insult them. You should be so lucky to be as tough and strong as we are.
