Stop Telling Unmarried Women Not To Wear A Ring on Their Left Hand Ring Finger

Stop Telling Unmarried Women Not To Wear A Ring on Their Left Hand Ring Finger

There is a long list of things that people need to stop critiquing women about and this is definitely one of them.
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Every day women are critiqued on what they wear, where they work (or don't) and how they carry out their lives through a multitude of other ways. A few months ago, I was given my great grandmother's engagement ring. Since then, I have worn this ring on my left ring finger, which is traditionally reserved for engagement rings and wedding bands. I don't usually wear rings, so it's fairly noticeable that I have this ring on; my wearing of this ring has caused lots of comments from friends and family members who believe I shouldn't wear a ring on the finger reserved for a wedding ring. While not all women who choose to wear a non-wedding ring on their left ring finger may experience these comments, I'm positive I'm not the only one.

Stop telling unmarried women they can't wear rings on their left ring finger.

For me, my ring is a symbol of everything my great grandmother represented to me. This woman helped to raise me and showed me how to live to be a remarkable woman. This ring was made to be an engagement ring, so I'll be damned if I wear it on any other finger.

Even if a ring doesn't have as much sentimental value as mine does, it's the right of every woman to wear whatever she wants, wherever she wants. The idea of an engagement ring may now be seen as a sign of commitment, but historically engagement rings had a lot more to do with the possession of women by the man to whom they were betrothed, so I see absolutely no reason why women should be forced to follow a custom that is rooted in their oppression.

Some people seem to think that by wearing a ring on my left ring finger I am "sending the wrong message" to all the men that could ever possibly consider dating me. I had a family member the other day go as far as to tell me that I was "scaring off prospects" by wearing this ring, as if any man who didn't know me well enough to know why I wear this ring and to know that I'm not actually engaged would ever be a prospect.

In addition to the fact that any man who may want to date me better know me well enough to know I'm not engaged, I see no reason why I should feel the need to consider what a man may think about what I'm wearing. If a man or any one else doesn't want to take the time to get to know me well enough before assuming I'm engaged, then let them think what they want because their opinions don't matter.

Any person who wants to (or doesn't want to) wear a ring on any finger shouldn't have to deal with negative comments from other people, because it is their body, their life and their choice. If a person decides they personally don't want to wear a ring on their left hand ring finger because of its traditional meaning, then good for them—that is their choice and one that those around them should support. Moral of this story: if it's not your body, then it's not your choice and if you have nothing nice to say you should probably just keep your mouth shut.

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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A Letter To My Humans On Our Last Day Together

We never thought this day would come.
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I didn't sleep much last night after I saw your tears. I would have gotten up to snuggle you, but I am just too weak. We both know my time with you is coming close to its end, and I just can't believe it how fast it has happened.

I remember the first time I saw you like it was yesterday.

You guys were squealing and jumping all around, because you were going home with a new dog. Dad, I can still feel your strong hands lifting me from the crate where the rest of my puppy brothers and sisters were snuggled around my warm, comforting puppy Momma. You held me up so that my chunky belly and floppy wrinkles squished my face together, and looked me right in the eyes, grinning, “She's the one."

I was so nervous on the way to my new home, I really didn't know what to expect.

But now, 12 years later as I sit in the sun on the front porch, trying to keep my wise, old eyes open, I am so grateful for you. We have been through it all together.

Twelve “First Days of School." Losing your first teeth. Watching Mom hang great tests on the refrigerator. Letting you guys use my fur as a tissue for your tears. Sneaking Halloween candy from your pillowcases.

Keeping quiet while Santa put your gifts under the tree each year. Never telling Mom and Dad when everyone started sneaking around. Being at the door to greet you no matter how long you were gone. Getting to be in senior pictures. Waking you up with big, sloppy kisses despite the sun not even being up.

Always going to the basement first, to make sure there wasn't anything scary. Catching your first fish. First dates. Every birthday. Prom pictures. Happily watching dad as he taught the boys how to throw every kind of ball. Chasing the sticks you threw, even though it got harder over the years.

Cuddling every time any of you weren't feeling well. Running in the sprinkler all summer long. Claiming the title “Shotgun Rider" when you guys finally learned how to drive. Watching you cry in mom and dads arms before your graduation. Feeling lost every time you went on vacation without me.

Witnessing the awkward years that you magically all overcame. Hearing my siblings learn to read. Comforting you when you lost grandma and grandpa. Listening to your phone conversations. Celebrating new jobs. Licking your scraped knees when you would fall.

Hearing your shower singing. Sidewalk chalk and bubbles in the sun. New pets. Family reunions. Sleepovers. Watching you wave goodbye to me as the jam-packed car sped up the driveway to drop you off at college. So many memories in what feels like so little time.

When the time comes today, we will all be crying. We won't want to say goodbye. My eyes might look glossy, but just know that I feel your love and I see you hugging each other. I love that, I love when we are all together.

I want you to remember the times we shared, every milestone that I got to be a part of.

I won't be waiting for you at the door anymore and my fur will slowly stop covering your clothes. It will be different, and the house will feel empty. But I will be there in spirit.

No matter how bad of a game you played, how terrible your work day was, how ugly your outfit is, how bad you smell, how much money you have, I could go on; I will always love you just the way you are. You cared for me and I cared for you. We are companions, partners in crime.

To you, I was simply a part of your life, but to me, you were my entire life.

Thank you for letting me grow up with you.

Love always,

Your family dog

Cover Image Credit: Kaitlin Murray

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Why The Idea Of 'No Politics At The Dinner Table' Takes Place And Why We Should Avoid It

When did having a dialogue become so rare?

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Why has the art of civilized debate and conversation become unheard of in daily life? Why is it considered impolite to talk politics with coworkers and friends? Expressing ideas and discussing different opinions should not be looked down upon.

I have a few ideas as to why this is our current societal norm.

1. Politics is personal.

Your politics can reveal a lot about who you are. Expressing these (sometimes controversial) opinions may put you in a vulnerable position. It is possible for people to draw unfair conclusions from one viewpoint you hold. This fosters a fear of judgment when it comes to our political beliefs.

Regardless of where you lie on the spectrum of political belief, there is a world of assumption that goes along with any opinion. People have a growing concern that others won't hear them out based on one belief.

As if a single opinion could tell you all that you should know about someone. Do your political opinions reflect who you are as a person? Does it reflect your hobbies? Your past?

The question becomes "are your politics indicative enough of who you are as a person to warrant a complete judgment?"

Personally, I do not think you would even scratch the surface of who I am just from knowing my political identification.

2. People are impolite.

The politics themselves are not impolite. But many people who wield passionate, political opinion act impolite and rude when it comes to those who disagree.

The avoidance of this topic among friends, family, acquaintances and just in general, is out of a desire to 'keep the peace'. Many people have friends who disagree with them and even family who disagree with them. We justify our silence out of a desire to avoid unpleasant situations.

I will offer this: It might even be better to argue with the ones you love and care about, because they already know who you are aside from your politics, and they love you unconditionally (or at least I would hope).

We should be having these unpleasant conversations. And you know what? They don't even need to be unpleasant! Shouldn't we be capable of debating in a civilized manner? Can't we find common ground?

I attribute the loss of political conversation in daily life to these factors. 'Keeping the peace' isn't an excuse. We should be discussing our opinions constantly and we should be discussing them with those who think differently.

Instead of discouraging political conversation, we should be encouraging kindness and understanding. That's how we will avoid the unpleasantness that these conversations sometimes bring.

By avoiding them altogether, we are doing our youth a disservice because they are not being exposed to government, law, and politics, and they are not learning to deal with people and ideas that they don't agree with.

Next Thanksgiving, talk politics at the table.

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