I’m not sure if it’s because I’m entering that time, or because some of my friends are already there, but people have a lot to say, and a lot of fear about the idea of "adulting" lately. And after much consideration on the topic, I think I have a good understanding of why. It’s not our fault we aren’t prepared; it’s our society’s.

For 18 years we are told to sit down, raise our hands and not speak out of turn. We are told that our opinion doesn’t matter yet, and if we have a stand on politics, it is simply regurgitated from our parents. Oh, and that relationship you’re in? You can’t possibly love that person because you’re simply too young. We are born and raised with opinions that are entirely discounted due to our age, and we grow up absolutely believing that.

And then something crazy happens.

We go off to college. And we reach a purgatory between the heaven of childhood, and the hell of adulting. And we realize that everything we had been taught to do during the past 18 years of our life isn’t going to cut it anymore. Those who sit down and raise their hands are those who become knocked down by their peers who have sooner realized such behavior will only put you behind. If you want something, you have to speak out of turn, and loudly at that. Next, we are asked for our opinions, and we are suddenly unsure of what exactly it is that we believe in. There is that religion you were raised in, there’s the political party you were taught to find correct and there’s always your outspoken friend’s mom’s stance on abortion, but now it’s time to choose: what side will you pick? At this point, our idea of self-confidence is virtually destroyed, and our self-efficacy is a comical matter at best. So we continue on, doing our best to learn as much as we can, and leaning on the morals that we found in our hearts to guide us through our intellectual stand points.

And then you find out that someone you’ve grown up with is engaged.

Sh*t! We’re old enough to be in love now? Who knew? This is a revelation that may take awhile to grasp, and perhaps an even longer time to act on. However, if you actually think about it and disregard the idea that someone once told you, you’ll realize that your ability to fall in love with someone is an intrinsic characteristic that has separated you from the animals at the local zoo.

So here’s an idea:

Let’s stop raising our generations to believe that there is an age requirement they must reach to be able to think, speak up or love. It is a debilitating trend that is leaving the freshly 18 at risk of feeling entirely unsure of everything they have ever thought, learned or believed in. Allow kids to be opinionated, and teach them that they can start or follow any movement they find worthy. Empower them and feed their confidence by listening to what they think. Life sure is a rollercoaster, but there’s no height requirement that determines when a person has a right to an idea or feeling.

But what do I know? I’m only 20.