Earlier this week, I was meeting with some group members for a class when one of the girls got a call from a bridal shop. When she got off the phone, she informed the group that she is engaged, and she is getting married in May. She told us she didn't want a big wedding but wanted to elope instead. Out of curiosity, another group member asked why, which is when the girl informed us that her fiance is a Marine, and she wanted to get married sooner rather than later. When she said that, I responded by saying my boyfriend is also a Marine. Another group member said we were "so lucky" to be dating someone who is in the military. Almost instantly, myself and the other girl said, "No, we're not."

When she said we were lucky, it really irritated me. It isn't the first time someone has said this to me either. I just don't understand how I'm "so lucky" to be dating someone in the military. What makes me so lucky? That I have to spend months without seeing my boyfriend? Or the fact that he's going to be missing some holidays and birthdays? I'm lucky because sometimes when he plans on coming home, it gets ruined because the military needs him to do something else? I don't know how any of this makes me "so lucky."

When he and I first started talking, I knew what I was getting into. I knew he was in the military and that I wasn't going to see him as often as I wanted to. I even had some doubts about dating him, but I decided to give him a chance. Not because of the military, but because I have him. We've had some good times, but it's harder than I expected it to be. Way harder. There have been countless disappointments in the short time we have been together. One of them being a deployment that has gotten extended, and he was in a nondeployable unit, so he shouldn't have even been told he was going anyway. There are days when we hardly talk to each other. On top of that, phone and video calls are almost impossible because the service on his end is so poor.

Somehow, this makes me "so lucky" to be in a military relationship. He won't even be home for our first Thanksgiving or Christmas together. He hasn't even met most of my family because of the military. Being in a military relationship is hard, and it takes a lot of work to be in one. I'm lucky because I have him; not because I'm in a military relationship.