Your heart is beating so fast you can't hear yourself think. Your mind is racing faster than the cars at the Indy 500 and your palms have turned into a swimming pool. You feel everything spinning in the room and you are trying to think of a plan to escape. The world is falling apart and there is nothing you can do about it.
This is anxiety.
A real and horrible thing that one too many suffer from. It makes you think that you should be separated from everyone else because you're "different." It makes you think that you are alone in this world. It makes you think... too much.
You begin to think that you are not good enough and you neglect how you are taking care of yourself. You put others thoughts before your own when you are the one who needs help. The worst part about anxiety is that there is nothing you can do about it, which creates more anxiety.
I have lived with this for 18 years and I still cry myself to sleep because I will never be a "normal" person. Yeah you're probably saying "Well Emily, no one is normal" and you're right, but when you suffer from anxiety everyone IS normal... except you.
I would never wish anxiety on my worst enemy. It eats you alive. It tears up every good thing in your mind and replaces it with the worst possible scenario. It makes you become someone other than yourself. It breaks you.
And it breaks my heart to hear other people going through what I go through every day.
Everything about anxiety is internal. There is no cure. There is no way out. You are trapped in your own thoughts...alone.
So next time you see anyone who may look upset, become a calming presence around them. Show them that you will not judge them because that is what most of us are afraid of.
Don't tell us to "not worry" or "it will be fine." Telling people who have anxiety not to worry is like telling an alcoholic not to drink. Telling us that it will be fine is like throwing us in the middle of the ocean with no life jacket on.
We will continue to worry and nothing will be fine. We've accepted that now it's your turn to accept us.
Anxiety is a real and toxic condition. Be kind to one another... it's the least you can do.
