"We can still be friends."
I have had several occasions where this excuse has been used. At first, these words sound so bittersweet. But the concept of being friends with an ex is a tough pill to swallow. Even though you've broken up, you’re optimistic because you will still have a relationship with the person who once meant the world to you. You think it's okay at first because you get him in some shape or form. You hold onto the fact you'll still remember his voice and his laugh that harmonized with yours.
They always tell you that it easy to fall for your best friend, and that's definitely true. I know, because it happened to me. It is also said that being friends first is the way to go, because you’re comfortable with that person, and this I agree with also. But what happens when that person who was the one you went to for everything becomes the person you fall in love with? What happens when he breaks your heart?
When and if you say to someone, "We can still be friends," I hope you know the meaning behind the words you speak. I hope you understand it's not just something you say to make the "break up" conversation less awkward. This is a commitment that is just as strong as the relationship you let go of. This means you are still there for me, you still want to know how I am, and you still act as if you care. It isn’t just a card you can play in hopes that your poker face will hide what you’re truly doing. You are playing it safe, you’re being a coward. By saying this, you believe you walk away with no ties and no hard feelings. You got a “good break up” out of it. I am here to let you know, in my eyes, being my friend is more important than being my boyfriend.
To the person who said this to me: The pain of feeling as though you don’t want to be my friend anymore is worse than when you didn’t want to be my boyfriend. I sometimes wonder if it’s me or if it’s something I did. Part of me wonders if you even realize what you’re doing, part of me wonders how you’re doing. I don’t know how you can be okay with someone who was once your best friend is no longer in your life. How you could forget the times I was there and I never left? When you say “We can still be friends,” know that I’m expecting just that. I am expecting to know that you are there and always will be.
To the next guy who thinks that is a good thing to say during a breakup: Think before you speak.
