Something I've realized lately is that I apologize way too much - and I'm not talking about apologizing for having done something wrong or making a mistake. I'm talking about apologizing for something as simple as taking up space in a crowded elevator, or saying "I'm sorry" when I should really be saying "excuse me" instead. I even say "I'm sorry" for things that are completely out of my control, like getting stuck in traffic and being a couple minutes late to meet someone.
Apologizing unnecessarily is a hard cycle to break. I've been aware of it for a while, but I still do it quite a lot, especially at work. I constantly say "Sorry, how do I do this?" or "Sorry I'm in your way!" when I should just be saying, "Could you show me how to do this?" or "Excuse me." I know I say it too much, and I inwardly cringe every time I do, but it's not easy to stop. I'm trying to train myself to stop and think about what I'm "apologizing" for before I just blurt it out. Is it really my fault that I've only been working for a month and no one has shown me how to find a certain item on the menu? No! Is it my fault that I'm a human being and it's only natural I take up space in an area jam-packed with people? Of course not!
The more I think about it, the more I realize how often people (especially women) say "I'm sorry." I see this occur all the time in friendships, both my own and others'. How often do you not see a friend's text and then say, "Sorry!" when you finally reply? Life happens, and you can't be expected to be glued to your phone every second. And all too often, when a friend is having a bad day or in a snippy mood, our immediate response is to apologize. I don't know about you, but sometimes I actually feel like I'm at fault or that I should be doing something to fix their mood. The better response is to simply sympathize, be supportive, and offer a hug. It is definitely important to be there for friends, but you're not responsible for them.
One of the saddest things that I see girls apologize for - and that I myself have been guilty of - is not wearing makeup. I'd walk into an early morning class and a friend would say, "Don't judge me, I didn't have time to put on makeup!" Or in the evenings, if there was talk of going out, a friend would say, "Sorry, I already took my makeup off and I look gross!" Why do we need to apologize for how our face looks? You should never feel sorry about looking like yourself.
After becoming aware of how often the phrase "I'm sorry" is used, I'm really making an effort to say it less. Of course, apologizing isn't always wrong; of course there are times when I need to own up to something. It can even be perfectly okay to say "sorry" just as a sign of empathy. But that doesn't mean I should say sorry all the time, especially when I'm not at blame. There is much less cause to apologize than people realize.
