God has a plan for you, so hear me out.

But He said to me, 'My Grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
- 2 Corinthians 12:9

Our afflictions are for a purpose.

In this culture, weakness is considered a vice, but to St. Paul—like in his letter to the Corinthians—weakness is a virtue and essential to living a godly life. In one of Paul’s epistles to the Romans, he says,

As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one. But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known…[t]his righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe...and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."
- Romans 3: 9-25

Understanding and accepting one’s own weakness is critical to positive thinking of oneself and others, spiritual health and growth, and a restored relationship with God through an appreciation of grace.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”
- Ephesians 2: 8-9

Trials are necessary for growth.

Despite the hardships, pain, and persecution St. Paul faced (2 Corinthians 11:24-28) during his mission work to spread this Gospel, he viewed his trials as a means of growing in faith, emotional health, and spiritual maturity.

“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
- Romans 5: 3-5

And when he conquered and got through it, he did not boast and show excessive pride in his own abilities to overcome but “boasted” of his weakness.

“If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.”
- 2 Corinthians 11:30

Forgiveness means everything.

To St. Paul, emotional health is achieved through a balance, not extremes. It is not good to deny one’s wrongdoings, to fail to express remorse or the desire to improve oneself, but it is also counter-intuitive and defeating to self-loathe.

Both are expressions of arrogance: a person desires “self-glory” above truth when he/she doesn’t share their weaknesses, but also does the same when he/she wallows about how imperfect, incapable, and unworthy he/she is.

When a person says, "I can't forgive myself" even after God has forgiven him/her, that is downplaying Grace and putting his/her own misguided opinion over God's declaration of love.

Acceptance matters.

Both expressions of arrogance are damaging, unproductive, emotionally unhealthy, and misguided. God says He forgives you for whatever you’ve done or are doing. If you accept His grace (Ephesians 2: 8-9), choose to follow Him above self-glory and turn to Him for guidance.

In the end, He will use your mistakes, your past, and your continuous weaknesses to bless you instead and glorify His goodness (Romans 8:28). God is an expert at bringing good out of bad. So for your own sake, and

“[f]or the sake of Christ…[be]...content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when [you are]...weak, then [you are]...strong.”
- 2 Corinthians 12:10.

Christ is the key.

In Christianity, Jesus is the virtue—not your works—for every good thing you do will fall short (Romans 3:23) in comparison to the goodness of God.

Although this is so, aiming and doing good works to the best of your ability is an a necessary and heartfelt reflection of your love for Christ; you will do good things (James 2:26) despite your struggle to do so, because you desire to glorify God.

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
- Matt. 5:16

Grace offers restoration.

God “afflicts” (e.g depression, coldness of heart, pain, lust, laziness, etc.) and allows the consequences of our sins and choices and even other people’s sin to affect us in order to show His power and the necessity of His grace for us to be good and experience true joy in the world and the world to come—to be free of the chains of “self-glory” and evil.

When people sin, they believe Satan’s lies and themselves, and then act. But in God’s eyes, through Jesus’ sacrifice, people are restored (Ephesians 4: 22-25).

Trust in God's perspective.

Ultimately, how you see yourself will affect your life, for the better or for the worst. So I entreat you now to believe in yourself and what God is doing in you. Go to him with your weakness and struggles, and let Him guide you in the way you should go:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.”
- Proverbs 3: 5-8.

Choose to believe.

Here is something you can do right now to acknowledge your weaknesses and give them to God: sit down somewhere, write out your fears and the weaknesses you are struggling with the most with right now, then say to God, “I choose to trust You today.” And then see where things go.

In the end, all you can do is love and accept yourself and others, not despite but because of all your and their sin, disappointment, failures, pain, distrust, selfishness. You can choose to love a person from any distance and in any situation, and understand what it means to be a man or woman after "God's own heart" like King David.

It certainly doesn’t mean sinless; David wasn’t sinless—far from it (here’s his story). But that’s what we all are: Davids. We can only love when we accept each other and ourselves as sinners and cherish and nurture the desire to seek God above our weakness and because of it all.

We are our hearts, not our choices or sins.

Love is undefinable.

It’s not entirely true that our choices define us; they do reflect our mindsets and the desires of our hearts, but we are not defined by them. We are only defined by Christ who is love and above definitions. We can rise above our choices and mistakes if we give our hearts completely over to God.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
- Matt. 6:19-21

Show your strength.

Our afflictions are for a purpose under heaven, so stop hitting the self-destruct button and define yourself instead in the undefinable—in Christ—for admitting your weakness is the ultimate sign of strength. Be above definition.

"Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its desire, and do not present your member to sin as instruments to be used for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who are alive from the dead...[f]or sin will have no mastery over you, because you are not under law but under grace."
- Romans 6: 9-14

You are forgiven. Be who you are, seek God, and thank Him over and over again for His amazing grace.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
- Romans 8:1