Stop taking the black and white and merging it to become your gray area. No means no. Even silence is a no.

Let's just start with this: I am BEYOND sick and tired of living in this rape culture. Where sexual assault is downplayed, the victims are blamed and the perpetrators are rewarded or excused in this world of rape culture.

But what exactly is rape culture? Rape culture is defined by Marshall University as, "an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety.

I know that there's been countless articles circling the internet about this particular topic, such as the one about Brock Turner being released after only 3 months in prison for the rape of an unconscious woman. I know that this case isn't the only story like this. I know that other individuals have spoken up and shared their opinions, but I also have a voice and I have some things that I want to say.

First and foremost, no means no. If an individual says no, any action after the fact is considered assault. That includes so so many things such as; touching, kissing, violating personal space even, and so many more. The list is basically endless. If an individual doesn't want something and you do it anyways, that is wrong.

Secondly, silence is also a form of no. Sometimes alcohol is involved and sometimes it's not, and depending on the individual and the situation, voicing a no isn't always possible. Maybe the individual is paralyzed in fear. Maybe they're incapable of speaking due to a substance. Or maybe they don't know how to say no because they've either never been in that situation before or they've been given reason in the past that their "no" has no meaning. Their lack of response does not mean continue by any means.

Thirdly, to expand on the alcohol aspect. Alcohol is not an excuse to take advantage of someone. To "downplay" your own actions. Alcohol is not a substitute for the lack of a "yes". Alcohol is not a reason in any shape or form to rob someone of their innocence, their worth, their dignity, their self-love. If an individual is unconscious that is sexual assault.

My heart breaks for anyone and everyone that has ever been taken advantage of in their life. Whether it was by a family member, an employer, a co-worker, someone unknown; anyone. My heart breaks for you, male or female. Because it's not just women that are affected, men are too. I'm honestly trying so hard to not cry as I am typing this because I get it. I understand. I know your struggle. I feel your pain. I know so many individuals that have had their worth, their innocence stolen from them, and it's not right and you're not alone.

This quote by Sierra D. Waters is more than accurate expressing the after affects on the victim after being assaulted.“Today I wore a pair of faded old jeans and a plain grey baggy shirt. I hadn't even taken a shower, and I did not put on an ounce of makeup. I grabbed a worn out black over-sized jacket to cover myself with even though it is warm outside. I have made conscious decisions lately to look like less of what I felt a male would want to see. I wanted to disappear.”

The victims shouldn't have to hide while the perpetrators walk off telling their buddies about this girl they were with the other night, neglecting the fact that she was unconscious, incoherent, or deliberately said no. If you've made it this far in life or even this article and still don't believe in rape culture, or that it's an issue then you are completely ignorant, because every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. RAINN collects statistics of sexual assault in the United States and the results are heart breaking. Sexual assault shouldn't be happening. Women and even men, shouldn't have to fear walking alone at night or fearing every day that someone might try or succeed in taking advantage of them. Meredith Russo writes, “Being a girl in this world means being afraid. That fear'll keep you safe. It'll keep you alive.” No one should have to live in constant fear...

Women are hushed and victim-blamed. They're portrayed in such a way that the victims are afraid to report the crime and the perpetrators walk on like no crime was ever committed on their behalf. “In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.” ― Judith Lewis Herman. Not only this but, “women have routinely been punished and intimidated for attempting that most simple of freedoms, taking a walk, because their walking and indeed their very beings have been construed as inevitably, continually sexual in those societies concerned with controlling women's sexuality.” ― Rebecca Solnit

Sexual assault is a problem.

Rape culture is a problem.

What are you going to do to help change it?

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, there are confidential resources available.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800. 656. 4673 or

National Sexual Assault Online Hotline