Don’t chase after love. It will come when you’re ready for it. I’ve learned that you have to love yourself first. I know you have all heard that saying, and you’re over it and want something real. Well, here it is. I’ll be real with you.

I look for love wherever it is. Maybe it’s because my parents got divorced and I look for the love in the books, and in the Nicholas Sparks movies. I want that kind of love. Yet I’ve never found it. I’ve looked for love in stranger’s bed sheets, and in party hallways. I’ve looked for love in dark places where the light doesn’t shine. I end up hurting myself looking for love. I end up breaking my own heart, hearing the pieces shatter against the floor.

You have to love every curve of your body. Ever stretchmark, and every flaw. The freckles you try to hide under heavy foundation and the scar on your knee. You have to love your stubbornness and your bad humor. You have to love the things you want someone else to love.

Daily, I still struggle to love myself, but I’m more confident than ever in a relationship. Because I have learned to love myself, and they love those parts of me too. Sure, I have my days where I hate my scars and my tummy. Yet the gentle kisses ease my soul.

Yet I stopped chasing for love when I got into this relationship. I was focusing on school, and vowed to my mom I was done with boys. After a summer of flings and heartaches and too many margaritas after the end of a new fling, I knew I had to take care of myself.

So, I stopped chasing for the first time in months.

When you stop chasing, something you didn’t know you needed or wanted will hit you like a train. Butterflies will fly into your stomach, and you will go to bed with a smile on your face. You will realize this is what you wanted all along. But the difference is before all of this happened you learned to love yourself.

It’s so important to love yourself, because if something ends and you’re left alone – you’re all you have left. You have to take care of yourself. You have to be that support for yourself. Love your own skin and the scars from your childhood.

Stop chasing for love, child. Love yourself first.